Pretty Pink and Green Thoughts

And Yet. . .

2010-03-31T21:34:00.003-05:00

I know this blog has been neglected- not shown the love it deserves, but really i have a lot of items written for it. It's just that my trigger finger is sort of shy and doesn't want to alienate anyone. But I'm going to take a chance. I seem to be taking far more chances lately, be it online or in real life or driving or eating or talking or whatever. But here goes. This is the deep end I'm jumping into here.

For a number of years, I have had an "anonymous" blog that I have been writing in pretty regularly. Mostly because when you don't have a name and face, far less editing seems required. But I think it might be time to leave that behind. Starting now, all posts that would appear there, will appear hear instead. Yes, this means I will be posting more often. Will you enjoy the content? Not entirely sure there. I am pretty edited as I appear here, so expect a departure from the regular. I don't mean to offend anyone and please let me know if I do at all, but this is something I have been thinking about for a long time and the timing (for once in my life) is right. Wish me luck. Love me, or leave me.

Movin' Out

2010-03-20T17:51:00.004-05:00

Well, it's that most wonderful time the those of us non-homeowners experience every year or few: apartment hunting time. It always sneaks up on me; I try not to think about it because it is so awful and then it is upon me like a crocodile and only weeks to figure out where myself and my book collection are going to live. This time around, I will most likely be downsizing. BF left for Atlanta, so I have had a two bedroom palace to myself for the past two months or so. This sounds like a good thing, but in reality, it isn't. It just means that I have now spread what used to be contained in a bedroom and walk in closet throughout an entire two bedroom place! And I like it that way. I even have a hooping area and a den/laundry folding room! Suffice to say, moving back into a shoebox sized studio is going to be an adjustment. I mean, a hooping area- awesome! Price is a factor here and I wish it weren't. If I had a money tree, I'd just get another two bedroom place and spread my self hither and yon. Alas, I have an all important budget to stick to (yes, I'm still using it Hillzy). This means that I either move in with some roommates (complete strangers), or find the deal of the century on a bootbox. I am approaching from both angles and I must say; I am my own worst enemy. I find something wrong with every place I go to. Clearly I am being overly critical. Hopefully meetings with potential roommates go a little bit better. It's really not nice to be critical of someone you just met. Especially when you would be moving into their abode.

So here's the score:
Shoeboxes 5, Me 0, Ties 2 (the ties are only because I have two places to "fall back on")
Bootboxes (no data available because I haven't found one in my price range yet)
Roommates 12 potentials. The meetings start next week. Wish me luck.

Do yourself a favor- figure out where you want to live and just buy a dumb place already. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

That didn't go as expected, now did it?

2009-10-26T08:59:00.003-05:00

As I had written in my last post, this Sunday was supposed to include 30 minutes of in-the-present, focused, and relaxed "me" time.

I am sort of ashamed to admit that it didn't happen. But I think I have a good reason and really, I'm not feeling horribly guilty for not hitting that particular timeline. Maybe I am better for not caring? Who knows.

Here is what I learned this weekend:
Just because it is October, just because you *think* you know what sort of people might be attending an event, don't assume that you should wear anything resembling a Tutu to a concert in Chicago. I made this exact mistake, and BF rocked out his Woodersen costume from last year (you know, the dude from 'Dazed and Confused'?) at Saturday night's Yonder Mountain String Band show @ The house of blues. Rereading that sentence, I already see at least 4 things wrong with my actions. One, The House of Blues. in Chicago. This might be my least favorite venue of all time in the city. If you check message boards for artists' upcoming shows there, they all call is "House of RULES". That is true, as is the assumption that there is heavy consumerism and VIP action. With that being said, not a good place to wear something that doesn't involve jeans and shirt and some sensible shoes. Not only will everyone look at you funny, security might take your glow sticks and granola bar away for further questioning. The second item would be that BF was dressed as pretty much every neo-hippie's hero (It'd be a whole lot cooler if you did. .. Love those redheads. .. ) and therefore all of the neo-hippies (Yonder Mountain String Band plays bluegrass and frequents the jam band festival circuit- so there were a lot of these) could not get over seeing someone dressed like their hero in the flesh. I can say that sometimes I identify with this demographic (especially when Phish is involved), but I don't think I would drop so many "man"s in one sentence- ever. ANd worst of all, I was wearing a Tutu. The whole point of these concerts is come together, dance your cares away, we are all the same- even the guys onstage. Except I was wearing a tutu and therefore everyone started at me. This is not fun. Especially when the vegan girls with dreadlocks who only wear clothes from salvation army and only eat food from the dumpster get on their soapbox and how I am singlehandedly a jerk for destroying feminism and how could I possibly buy something like a tutu that would really be quite easy to make. *for the record, I bought the tutu at a resale shop. I had made one a few years back, but due to my lack of sewing skills, it pretty much disintegrated, so $10 for a tutu seemed like a steal to me.

So we left. Before the concert was even over. I am not YMSB's biggest fan, but I do enjoy live music and the entire scene of people and venue and ego was just too much for me to squeeze that enjoyment out. When I got home, and took off my glitter and tutu and tights, I realized that I really like me. Like I love that I left, even though who leaves in the middle of the concert? And I love that I came home and put on a black top and some skinny jeans. And I love that BF can rock Woodersen in public and do the voice and everything! IT all makes me laugh.

Which brings me back to my original point- the point of my assignment was to get more in touch with myself by focusing on something for me. Both my therapist and I had assumed that I needed total concentration and seclusion to do this. Obviously this is not completely true. No man (or woman!) is an island. Sometimes I wish I could be, but then I'm right back there.

So thank you Sarshie, for the suggestions. I sang the entire cab ride home. And then I hooped in my chic outfit in my living room when I got there. I guess those are my ways of being with myself.

(It occurs to me that I should be posting a picture, but seeing as this was written from my blackberry and I am just pressing "publish" from my office computer, that might have to come later. Apologies, because I do look pretty ridiculous/funny- but in a happy way! wearing a tutu.)

Blank Space? Anyone?

2009-10-22T08:47:00.002-05:00

I keep trying to break up with my therapist. This is way more difficult than you might imagine. I have tapered it off to every other week and perhaps this schedule might pare down to once a month and then finally end. You see, she went on maternity leave this summer and I did just fine without a weekly dose of introspection (you see, I think too much already, so is this really helping?) and I was all set to be done cold turkey. But then I wanted to wrap things up (maybe I felt bad for quitting her- guilt!) and my insurance changed (making this an even more expensive weekly endeavor) so I figured I could just go once or twice and set things straight. Then she has to go and point out all of the things I SHOULD be working on (man, I must be lazy). Which is an epic list at any given point in time- the road to self actualization is long and winding road apparently. Maybe this is what the Beatles were singing about on The White Album? Who knows, all I know is that she pointed out that I don’t ever seem to take the time to just take care of me and do things just for me. There is always some sort of agenda, maybe I have created it, but it is certainly almost always serving someone else- not me.

She recommended taking 30 minutes a day to do something just for myself. It can’t be to forward my career, or develop a relationship, or improve, or maintain- it has to be solely me based and in the present. I thought about this and of course tried to do it. I lasted 30 seconds, no joke! I rang her after and told her the issue. She knocked it down to 30 minutes a week (suddenly I felt relieved?!). Half of me is dreading this 30 minutes and half of me is looking forward to indulging myself for that long. Except I can’t decide the logistical features, let alone HOW I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO PULL THIS OFF! Suggestions for what I should be doing for that 30 minutes would be appreciated. I can’t even decide what I should DO! I think it will fit in nicely on Sunday, as I don’t have a lot of immediate plans with people and work expectations regarding Sundays are quite low. Please provide a suggestion in the comments, or if you have my number/email/twitter, send me some that way- I would really appreciate it!. I am going to have to do this every week and I could really use a nudge in the right direction. I think everybody should do this too- if you don’t already that is!
Maybe there is a some big league of people that have made a pact with themselves and others that they are going to do something ridiculously inefficient and indulgent and ENJOY it too at a certain time every day or week or month or whatever? If you are one of those people, what is your secret?! Let me drink your kool-aid. . .

Someone suggested a while back that I might have ADD. Don't we all? To be so busy keeping up with the Jones', twittering, posting, emailing, blogging, facebooking, myspacing, calling, texting, and really interacting with people- how can you not have focus issues?

I used to self medicate by reading all of the time. Except most of the reading I do know is either “I need to go to grad school so help me god I must write good essays and pass this test” reading or “I have already read this book and I have always said I like reading so I’m just going to do this because it takes up time” or “someone suggested this book to me and we are hanging out this weekend, so I had better plow through this whether I like it or not so when she bring it up I don’t look stupid” reading. Not a lot of that “get lost in a book and go on an adventure in your head” type of reading that I truly love so much. I mean, how are you supposed to get into it with all of the noise and things going on and things you may be missing?

I suppose what I NEED is this: “got a blank space where my mind should be”. Where did that blank space go? Did it disappear with the Phish Summer Tour season? HELP me find it!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. . .OR- Reality Bites

2009-10-12T14:48:00.004-05:00

As a result of not sleeping all weekend because I was in Las Vegas and sleep is just not an option there, I seem to have acquired a nasty little cold. Just in time for it to SNOW in Chicago, apparently, so I guess it is fitting. So here I sit, at my desk, with a snot Niagara Falls coming out of my nose. Not exactly what I had in midn for my return to the office (think bronzed skin, cute little highlights, hydrated skin and face from a day of rest post flight), but at least people are keeping a wide berth. That means a little bit less busy work dumped on my desk:)

I had a great time. I actually forgot about life for awhile- I mean, Phish and music festival style. Obviously Vegas is a much different scene, but the feeling of escape is still the same. Except of course, when it is time to come home. Recovery is much more difficult and the stress level of not having any alone time, or bonding time with those that you are close to is enormous.

So what I'm say is. . . I feel like I have post vacation depression. Hopefully it is temporary and will pass shortly. BF was very kind to me when I got off the plane and that helped greatly. The airline managed to lose one of my bags- but found it! Then I couldn't go to sleep and BF stayed up with me- until 5AM (my inner clock is waaaayyyy off!). Last night I tried to go to bed early, but it didn't go so well. I woke up with this lovely upper respiratory awesomeness and so goes the day. I'm pretty sure some of the other ladies are feeling as good as I am right now.

But at least it IS chicken soup weather :)

Going to get some chicken soup for my soul and my throat.

The Quarter Life Headache

2009-10-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

I am on the edge of the life decision cliff right now- do I stay at my job that I can't stand but is very secure (and in a city I can't afford!), or do I strike out and try for another somewhere else? The biggest issue is the somewhere else I think. I desperately want to go back to school (thats right, throw some more stress on the pile!), and the graduate program I am interested in isn't exactly offered everywhere. This narrows some places down. Also, my family really wants me to be as close or closer to them. I don't think I necessarily agree with this, but it hurts to not agree with my mother on the phone, so I can't imagine what it would be like to call and tell her I'm moving to Oregon or something. Which brings me to my next point- where would I fit best? Weather, culture, job availablity, compensation, cost of living, accessibility; these are all factors too. Plus there is the BF card. . . .I am not sure if he is factoring in me when he is job hunting in other locales, but I am factoring in him. Obviously, after 5 (on and off) years together, I can't just forget about someone. All things I need to think about. No wonder my head hurts. Its enough to make me want to pack a backpack and hop the next plane to wherever!

BBQ and Beer with?????

2009-10-06T07:42:00.006-05:00

I have been writing for The Local Tourist here in Chicago. This takes up some of my spare time, yes, but I really like doing it and it is my first "real" blog. I have been making my fair share of mistakes while doing this, don't get me wrong. Having a day job is proabably the first one. . .closely followed by tons of technical errors. Lets just say I'm glad I'm not getting scored figure skating style! Anyway, tonight is the North Neighborhoods Meet and Greet. This is basically a chance for everyone to come out and meet new friends, hang with old friends, and of course meet me. Sort of a debut party for me being the host of the North Neighborhoods. I am really hoping that any of you in Chicago come by! I like to meet new people and really like seeing old friends and people I have somehow managed to drift from.

To be honest, this is the first time I have helped "throw" an event that wasn't just an all you can drink boozefest for a friend's birthday. I didn't approach businesses very well for "sponsorship" because no one seemed very interested. They all asked if this was for a charitable cause and I pretty much had to say no, even though all donation monies for "swag bags" go to the Local Tourist herself, Theresa Carter, to put towards a goal of raising $20,000 for pedatric aids. She is even climbing Mt. Kilmanjaro. Then I just sort of shut down. I guess I am sort of shy sometimes. If you come up to me, no problem; but I seem to have issues coming up to you and spouting off what I have to say. So I think I mucked it up. Theresa has been very understanding and is a great mentor for all things social media. Me, I can't even seem to figure out how to work the google spreadsheet. Suffice to say, this event is turning into less of the multi faceted marketing, advertising, charitable, social networking awesomeness I had originally envisioned, and more like one of the birthday fests described above. Except that Sheffield's is actually nice and previous birthday fetes have been at complete dives. And Theresa did very well with the whole marketing thing- there are sponsors.

So please come- and donate to the cause if at all possible. $25 online at this link gets you
BBQ Buffet
House Wine
Oktoberfest Beer (this is why I love Sheffield's)
Soda

and good company:)

It is $30 at the door of Sheffield's, one of my favorite bars in Lakeview/Wrigleyville (it rides the line between your favorite pub in college and a grown up pint).

Starts at 6:30PM and goes to 9:30PM.

Please come! Tickets here.

I am really hoping lots of my friends (that would be you) come so I don't look like a total loser. Plus I can only eat so much BBQ without exploding and it isn't good leftover. Neither is leftover beer.

If you really miss me. . .

2009-09-29T10:38:00.002-05:00

I am also still here on twitter! I actually update that multiple times per day. Plus you can catch all of my Local Tourist posts there.
follow me: @randommsugirl

A new home on the Internet and renewed inspiration

2009-09-29T10:15:00.005-05:00

Seeing as I have a monster conference call starting in 15 minutes about god knows what (sounds like blah, blah, blah to me), I think I may have some time carved out to write a blog post. On my own blog! I have been writing, but not exactly on my own site. Recently, I met a great gal in Chicago who founded this site that basically tells people where to go, whether visiting or residing. She asked if I would like to contribute, and of course I couldn't turn down an awesome offer like that! So I started writing for the North Neighborhoods of Chicago on http://www.theLocalTourist.com. (Save that in your bookmarks- and visit often, please :)) Which is great, because I am learning about how to best attract an audience, plus write about where I live and all of the cool things that there are to do. Is a win- win. Unfortunately, I had to keep my day job (which most of you know does not suit me at all) and my hours got increased, so my personal blogging took a backseat. But recently BF started a blog and reminded me why I love doing this so much- writing is my outlet; right, wrong, or indifferent. I guess this means I have decided to say eff the backposts I have stored on my desktop and just start writing again. As always, unedited and probably super random. If you want something more polished, check out The Local Tourist.

FRIEND ships

2009-07-20T21:06:00.005-05:00

Two of my best friends in the whole world came to visit me this past weekend and it just drove home how much I miss them and how much I miss out on their lives. We happen to live an entire time zone away from each other, so whenever we get to see each other, it is cause for celebration! This weekend was no different. We started the weekend off by consuming a wee bit more wine than was probably a good idea at the best Thai food place in the whole wide word and then moved on to hula hooping in my living room (I am obsessed, I'll admit it!) before heading out for some live blues at Kingston Mines.

Several months ago, one of these lovely ladies came down here for my birthday weekend and we went to Kingston Mines that weekend too. Suffice to say, we were just as hungover on this occasion as the last one and we had just as much fun dancing ourselves silly. Yeah, we didn't feel so motivated or with it the next day, but it was totally worth it!

I am sad to say that I don't talk to them nearly as much as I'd wish to. Or see them. Or email them. Or be there when I feel like I should be there for them. I get upset and start to feel guilty about this, but it seems like this is how it goes as we get older. This is no excuse and it doesn't make it any better, but the onward march of time means that as we age, we give more and more to careers and partners and children and hobbies and less to the people and passions that mattered along the way. I am sorry that this is how it is, but it makes me treasure weekends like this past one and still wish that we had more to share. I miss you guys already!

There are gold ships and there are silver ships, but the best ship is friendship.

Hiatus?

2009-05-09T15:02:00.004-05:00

Obviously, I have been "away" for awhile here. People ask me, "when are you going to post again?" and I don't really know how to answer. I have a million excuses, not the least of which is work. The truth is, I do work a lot, and I feel a bit intimidated by my lack of social media background. I have decided to try not to let this get to me. Two of my good friends were in town for the Ragan Unconference yesterday, and we ended up going for dinner and drinks with some people I could only refer to as "internet friends". In talking with these people, it occurs to me that maybe I am not the square peg in the round hole after all. I actually knew that they were talking about and also, I could talk twitter with them. This is good, as most people in my day to day life have no clue at all whatsoever what twitter is. This is a good indicator that I need to start blogging on a more regular basis- MAKE time for it, because it is fun!

Which brings me to my next announcement; I am on twitter! I have been on twitter for over a year now, so sorry for the late announcement :) anyway, if you want to follow, you can do so by clicking here. I actually manage to update pretty often, as I can do so from my blackberry. I used to be able to access from the office comp, but they blocked it and I have to say that is probably for the best, or I would be stuck at work even later than I already am!

Also, when I first started writing this, I had some inherent fear of being "found". Too bad that already happened and I'm over it. By now most people know who I am, so I am just going to roll with it. Sarah from Sensibly Sassy seems to do just fine being "herself" publicly, so why can't I?

Anyway, feel free to drop by in the coming weeks. There might actually be something to read for once!

xoxo, I miss you all, especially those I got to see last night :)

Tra-La-La

2008-12-02T12:40:00.002-06:00

We have started decking the halls as of last night. Paper snowflakes on the windows, handmade wreath on the front door, fake frost on the window panes. . . .
Tonight we are going to get the Tree! We wanted to be all City Traditional and get it from one of the many lots, drag home and haul up the stairs, but home depot and menards are proving to be much more affordable. Besides, no one will notice once it is lovingly adorned, right? Thoughts on this? I just hope all of the needles don't fall off before Christmas and that the aroma fills the apartment!

Besides that, I unpacked the snowglobes that my Grandfather had purchased for me every year from Neiman Marcus. Always modeled after some Christmasy artwork popular at that time, they are very interesting to look at. Sadly, the seal broke on the the one from 1994 and some of the water (I think it is water?)had leaked out and the snow and glitter followed. Sadness :( Does anyone out in blog land know how to fix a snowglobe? no glass is broken, but all of the contents have leaked out and it makes me so sad! I just hope none of the ornaments broke on the harrowing trip back from Michigan. (the waves were topping the cement barrier along Lakeshore!) All of those ornaments are from my Grandpa and Grandma's first tree. They are all super beautiful, being that they are from the 1940s and 1930s and pretty colors. I can't wait to put them up on our tree!!

Ah, the holidays. . ..

Been Away Much?

2008-11-26T07:14:00.002-06:00

Okay, so 2 months is a bit of a hiatus. Especially when every blog post (that actually made it on here) refers to "getting it together" and "posting more often". Whoops! sorry about that. I have been. . . . .busy. Lame excuse I know, but I don't have any other. I have managed to write bits I want to post about, they just happen to be on to do lists, napkins, work computer word documents, etc. Also I have been posting on twitter! So at lease I have been doing some blogging, even if it is "micro" (way to make me feel small!).

However, I am dropping in here because I have heard so much, 'you never post anymore!', and I don't. I feel bad about it. Not bad in the malaise sense, but bad because I know I am better than that and dammit this is something I enjoy!

I will spare you a recap of the last two months, if I ever manage to back post other writings, that should sum all of those exploits up for you all.

But the point: Have a happy holiday! The most wonderful time of the year technically starts tomorrow, and I can't wait! I grew up with the most wonderful Holiday experience and it has most definitely rubbed off on me. I remember going to Hudson's as a child with my grandfather. Grandpa loved shopping and Christmas above all else. We would go see Santa, and then wander around looking at all of the holiday ornaments and decorations on the top floor of the Twelve Oaks Hudson's. I can still remember how it smelled! My mom is as into the season as my grandfather was. I can expect to be spending a great deal of Black Friday and Saturday helping to deck her halls. This is rewarding work, even if I won't get to see it again until Christmas eve :(

The biggest different this year, is that I will have my own halls to deck. Because I no longer live in the shoe closet, and have in fact moved it on up, I can have a tree, a wreath, some stockings, garland, maybe even some lights! I am feeling especially lucky, because my mother is letting me take a substantial amount of my grandfather's Christmas items. When we cleaned out his house after he died, it was very difficult to decide what should stay and what should go. Because I was only 14 at the time, I regret some of the things I let go. However, I did have the presence of mind to demand all of this holiday stuff. After 10 years of chilling in boxes in mom's basement, all of it will be restored to its former grandeur and displayed upon my lovely (crummy, crumbly) vintage walls. I am almost as excited about this as I am about going home and stuffing myself full of food. Not that I don't stuff myself everytime I am in the southeastern region of Michigan, but come on, its Thanksgiving!

Speaking of Turkey day, this year I have decided that I need some new traditions. Namely, I will not be spending Thanksgiving with my dad this year. Every year, Mom gets Christmas and Dad gets Thanksgiving and Easter. But this year, I don't think dad is getting anything, as he is not showing an interest. I know we all get busy (boy, don't I! look at the state of this blog!), but he has yet to return my calls regarding Holiday itineraries. SO, this particular gathering holiday is going to be about gathering with my friends and my mother. We will see how this sticks in the coming years.

Best Turkey Day wishes to everyone! Don't drink too much tonight (I, for one am going to try not to!), don't eat so much your pants won't button, and watch out for those shopper stampedes on Friday.

Xoxo

Back to the Earth

2008-09-13T12:12:00.005-05:00

I have been insanely busy trying to move to a new place (with BF!), study for the GRE, and find a new way to waste those hours from 8-5, Monday through Friday. This does not leave much time left for "fun". Blogging is fun. Reading is fun. Watching trashy television is fun. Shopping is fun. (I think you get the idea). Working, moving yourself, cleaning and trying to play Ms. Fix it are not fun activities. So this means two things. . . . .I am lacking creativity right now, and I have posted in forever! I have lots to say and have been thinking about a lot of things, but getting them up here hasn't happened yet.

Considering that I finally have wireless high speed internet consistently again (first time in two years!), I need to at least post something. So here you go: stolen from Sensibly Sassy, 7 Things I Have Never Done:
I Have NEVER. . .
1) . . . .smoked a cigarette. I haven't even taken a puff!
2). . . .cooked a burger or steak. not a huge red meat fan, so why stray from chicken?
3). . . .drank the milk from my cereal. i think this is grody, but if you enjoy it, more power to you.
4). . . .gotten a speeding ticket (knock on wood here)
5). . . .had plastic surgery, body altering things done
6). . . .hired movers to move me. this will be changing the next time i move!
7). . . .worn foundation, concealer, powder, etc. i have never really worn makeup to speak of. i should probably learn how to put it all on before I look like an age spot mess.

I will post pictures. I will post something a little more interesting. It seems I never manage to make time to do these things. But I know I need to.

Comments?

2008-08-21T07:21:00.001-05:00

Metrogal84 brought it to my attention that my comments were "not working". I checked out this section, and it looks like they are good to go. I have no idea what I did, and I apologize for whatever it is. Anyway, comments should be good to go now. Sorry about that!

The expense

2008-08-20T07:31:00.004-05:00

Ah, my ship has not come in just yet. No new camera, but I am hoping I can get pictures from friends for a time. Instead, I got my mail yesterday and there was a lot in there (I only get my mail once a week because I really only get mail once a week, because this is Chicago and my mail person is lazy. The only problem with this is that there is the potential to have two weeks worth of mail that will not fix in your mailbox. I have no control over what day is delivered) that I didn't want to see. The usual junk mail, magazines (yay vogue and vanity fair), advertisements for a new roof or driveway (don't have either of those), and of course the bills. Except that this time there were 4 nasty nasties. the first of which being a bill for the doctors office for an appointment I didn't have and didn't go to. The second being a bill from the city for parking tickets I appealed nearly two years ago. Apparently I didn't win because not only am I being billed, but they are twice as much and interest is being charged! WTF?! I called to try and resolved the issue, but was told I had to pay for the tix. Then sat on hold for another 20 minutes (the city has awful hold music, like a cross between muzak, Kenny G, and bad German Techno beats) to talk about setting up a payment plan for this ungodly sum ($786.00!!!!!). Alas, the phone is finally picked up by a disgruntled sounding customer service rep (this must be the worst job in the world, hands down) who informed me that I am unable to set up a plan because I am not on Welfare (I have a job and no kids. . . shouldn't I get rewarded?)and that I had better pay up at least half today and then I could pay the rest over the next 6 months, but still with interest. I paid up the initial $100 and then put the rest of the $343.00 on 3 different credit cards (stupid city) because I was informed that for each month I don't pay up, interest plus another $100 accrues. Good God! This is bad news in the mail if I have ever gotten it. The next offending piece was a letter from my landlord with a move out checklist (like the dorms!)and a note reminding me that my move out date is 8-30-2008. . .WHAT?????? According to my lease I can stay until 9/1 @ 12noon. This is imperative because BF has to be out of his place on 8/31 @ 12 noon, and we are still negotiating the new place, but it really looks like 9/1. Sh*t~! So I call them up, (2nd nasty call involving lots of waiting) and after getting the busy signal twice, get "Brittany" the nitwit at the front desk. Brit and I have history, as I have threatened lawsuits and sicced government agencies on this management company on multiple occasions, so of course she puts me on hold forever upon hearing my name. Great. Finally I get the office manager and she informs me that I do in fact need to be out on 8/30 @ 12noon because that is the time I specified? I didn't specify anything. I mentioned my lease at this point and she chewed me out, saying that it meant nothing because it was with the previous management company. Grrrr. I am going to call the building manager now and see if anyone is actually moving into this rat trap. I doubt it, as over half the complex is vacant. If no one is moving in, then why should this even be an issue. Yuck. Last offending piece of mail was note from credit card (the one I put the parking tix on incidentally) that interest rates are going to be the prime rate + a bajillion percent. So now my parking tickets are going to cost $786.00+ (786x (28.99%)= a lot of frickin money for tix I thought I was off the hook for. Seriously, how can anyone afford this city?

Will post later when have cooled down more. Was not as productive as one would have hoped (we have an Oberon supplier in Chicago now, what can you do?) because I got a little extra tipsy on Friday night. However, just because I didn't make it to a place of internet, doesn't mean I didn't write anything. More word documents, to be uploaded when I do make it to said internet place. No pictures though. Sorry for the lack of entertainment!

Holy Field Trip

2008-08-15T13:09:00.004-05:00

After an interesting time last weekend, I am happy to say that I have limited plans this weekend. A lot of people are out of town, so maybe I can manage to catch up on sleep and on here. I am beginning to think that this just isn't meant to have pictures on it. My digital camera died a slow and painful death this weekend. THen again, I have had it since 2004, so what am I complaining about? having to buy a new one. It amazes me that a new camera, same model (canon elph sd), more pixels (obviously some time has passed here), but same camera is the same price it was when I bought my original one. Needless to say, that purchase will have to wait until my ship comes in. I don't really know when that will be, but I am hoping soon. So what i am saying is, no pictures for now. :( sorry, i really like to blog and i really like to take pictures, but when i get busy, these are the first things that get pushed to the backburner. I would like to write in more detail about last weekend, but all i can seem to get out are the events that unfolded:

First and foremost, L+Z's beautiful wedding. I cannot describe how beautiful this was. Gorgeous! totally worth her two years of planning! We took pictures at one of the places i think i wuold eventually like to be married, so you can imagine how amazing those are. Unfortunately, i don't have any of these pictures because of aforementioned camera misfortune. But I have friends that took pics, so hopefully I can just mooch off of theirs. The entire weekend, from Thursday boating and bachelorette tanning to rehearsal dinner atop the Park Place, to the sweet reception was everything I would have dreamed of in L+Z's case. There were 6 people in my overpriced room at the Park Place: Woody, otherspartangirl, Metrogal84 and her husband, and of course BF. BF was a bit of a surprise showing seeing as event number two. . . .

Event #2. Several hours before I was supposed to head up to Traverse city for bachelorette fun, BF got the call that his mom had died. This is never a fun call to take, particularly being that she was young- 57 in fact. Plus it is his MOM. I would be a complete train wreck if my mom died at this point; in fact, you might have to commit me, because whenever anything gets bad in my world I do what any upset person does: call mummy dearest. BF was not particularly close with his mother, in fact they didn't talk all that much; he is much closer to his dad, and i suspect if his dad ever died, he would go to pieces as well. However, his mother did die and he is very upset, as we all would be. Of course this meant a funeral and viewing and wake and all of those lovely funeral activities when a loved one passes. The chosen date for the funeral was Friday. I am thankful it fell on that day, because even though I had to drive 4 hours downstate to attend the funeral (only to drive 4 hours back upstate to make the rehearsal dinner), I could at least attend and be there for BF. I was thinking it would be on Saturday and that would be a nightmare, as I was an attendant for L's wedding. The funeral was beautiful but sad. Someone had decided to paint his mom's nails red (her favorite color) and her lips too. This somehow reflected her personality well. Seeing his mom laid out like that only made me miss mine all the more. The last time i "saw" her was for Metrogal84's wedding, but we haven't hung out since my "episode" in early March. This seems like a really long time. She is coming to visit next weekend.

But all in all I cried buckets of tears this weekend, happy and sad.

I just love weddings :) All this talk of weddings made me want to get married and plan my own. But really I think I just want to have a wedding; not ready to be a grownup yet. Plus I can't even afford a ceremony, let alone the reception right now.

For now I am going to chill out, update things (this??), hunt for sales on Digital cameras, and catch up on sleep. Have a happy friday!

Unsolicited Opinions

2008-08-01T07:32:00.005-05:00

Interestingly enough, just when I start getting it together to update regularly, I have to take time out to find a new place to live. This has been a very stressful past few weeks, but on Wednesday afternoon, BF and I finally found the apartment of our dreams. I was beginning to think that it didn't exist. We had the rug pulled out from under us on all of the other fabulous places, so I was definitely ready to celebrate when we got the call back that the place was ours! Yay! Some of my coworkers had already planned a going away soiree for Woot (one of the girls that I am friends with in the office). This was to take place as sort of a happy hour- into the night sort of thing. I was really happy for Woot, being that she was moving on to greener pastures. I envisioned a night of happy cocktails with good people. It didn't hurt that the place we were going to had great drink specials.

So we all arrive with Woot in tow. Being that she didn't have to work the next day, she was all out to have a good time. The rest of us felt the same way, but that work was NOT going to be fun the next day. A motley assortment of people managed to roll in; a mixture of Woot's personal friends, coworkers and other satellite friends. All was going well, the weather was behaving, and the drinks were flowing. This is where it gets ugly.

There are certain people that you will encounter over a lifetime that you aren't really a huge fan of, and they aren't really anyone who you value the opinion of. In may cases, these happen to be friends of friends; not really anyone important. Well, Woot's roommate is most def one those people. I have always tried to reserve my judgement about her, but last night she took it one step to far. She also managed to collude in this with one of M's best girlfriends (if you remember, M is another coworker that I am good friends with)that I expect poor behavior from consistently; we will call her "Princess", because that is the title that best suits her.

M, Woot's roommate, Princess and I were discussing my upcoming move with BF. It is kind of a big deal when you make a decision to move in with your significant other. I was saying that we planned to have a housewarming party and that I would sent out invites accordingly now that my place will be bigger than shoe closet I currently inhabit.(Note: these were the girls I went out with the night after BF and I broke up for two weeks, so some animosity is warranted, but not like I am about to write about)Princess, who always "tells it like it is"; one of the many not so charming facets of her personality, tells me that she "respects my decision", because I am "an adult", but honestly, she thinks I am really stupid for doing this and can't believe I would be "that dumb". Ah, nice to hear on a summer's night when I AM SUPPOSED TO BE CELEBRATING! Wait, it gets better. Woot's roommate had to chip her two cents in too: "yeah, he's a "d bag" and "no one likes him anyway", then also reminds me that "no one has any respect for someone that pathetic". I know we were drinking, but A) I didn't ask for your opinion, B) didn't your mother teach you how to speak properly, and C) do I look like I care? I have not run into such blatant rudeness and stupidity since High School. Who are these girls? A little bit about them: both come from $$, went to good schools, and have difficulty holding on to a boyfriend. In fact, Woot's roommate has never had one. or a fling. or anything.

Suffice to say, I am glad that they are M and Woot's friends, not mine. I don't even want to be in the same room as these obnoxious idiots! I don't offer my opinion (especially if it is bad, or rude, or stupid) up when it isn't asked for in social situations. I offer my opinion up here, but I am talking to no one in particular. I either know who you are and expect your reaction, or you just stumbled here and are lurking. That is okay too. By putting this out there, naturally I am asking for opinions. But no one does this when they are having a conversation about a completely different topic, and are simply stating a fact. I would be lying if I wasn't put off by it. Would you be comfortable if someone just trashed your significant other for no apparent reason in a social setting? and then just expected that everything was okay? There is a difference between being a doormat and being nice.

Very excited to go to Michigan for L+Z's wedding next weekend. I know that I can expect not to encounter such idiots there.

xoxoxoxoxo to everyone out there that has manners. I love you all!

Why People Pleasing is a Bad Idea: Most likely part of a 10 part series called "My Life"

2008-07-18T08:01:00.007-05:00

Have you ever had a day when you just can't seem to say/do the right thing, no matter how hard you try? That would be today for me. It is only 8:02am CST, and I keep putting my proverbial foot in my mouth everytime I open it. I am really just trying to be nice and make it easier for everyone around me (lots of people are having bad days, or it looks like they could potentially have one; i am just trying to make their days better, honest!) by being sympathetic and trying to solve their problems. Apparently this is the wrong approach. . .

Exhibit A:
M is one of my good friends and she had a bad day yesterday as well. She called me last night, upset. She had also called another mutual friend of ours (we are our own little group). I would never betray the trust of one of my good friends. If you tell me something,I am not about to broadcast it to everyone ( I have friends that do this with stunning regularity. . ). I got on the bus to go to work this morning, and this mutual friend (herein referred to as "woot") got on the bus. I asked her if M had called her last night. She said that, yes M had called her. I made the mistake of assuming (putting the @$$ in you and me. . .)that M had talked about the same topics; she hadn't, so I guess I just inadvertantly betrayed M's trust. The whole idea here was to talk to woot to try and find good ways to take M's mind off of the upsetting situation this weekend. That was achieved (M and Woot are hanging out tonight, and M is hanging with me tomorrow), but I get in and M calls and is like, I can't believe you told Woot all about me and my issues! What is wrong with you? Sigh. . . I was just trying to help!

Exhibit B:
Coworker comes up to me and asks me if I handle a particular report. I didn't, but seeing as all I do all day is run/write reports, it was a valid question. I told him that it was other Coworker H's report. Bad news for him, he said. I know enough about Coworker H's report to know that this report issue could cause Coworker H, who is already moody, to be in a crap tastic mood all day. I decided to intervene and tell Coworker H, that there were some issues with his report. This is much nicer than getting the chew out email about your report failing from the client. At least in my opinion. I would have thanked Coworker H if the roles were reversed. Instead I got a scowl and some swearing. Now Coworker H isn't speaking to me and that stinks cause I sit right next to him.

I am officially done trying to help people out and make their day a little bit easier. From now on, if there is dog poo up ahead, go ahead and step in it. Don't get mad that I didn't warn you or try to direct you to another route!

Kick for a Cause

2008-07-10T13:55:00.003-05:00

If anybody is feeling particularly generous, my company is involved in a charity called Ryno Kid Care, founded by Ryne Sanburg of the Cubs (Go Cubs Go!)for the benefit of terminally ill children and their parents. We are hosting a Kickball Extravaganza @ Grant Park this Saturday, and all teams participating (not me, i'm working on the setup and registration of players!)raised at least $1200.00. Still we are asking for more people to donate to this great cause. If your pockets are feeling deep, click here. If you are in the Chicagoland area, feel free to come out and watch the fun in Grant Park. There will be a beer tent, food and snacks, and the festivities start at 10am and go until 6pm. Maybe I will see you there!

Rothbury Green Initiatives- In your own backyard (cubicle)

2008-07-09T08:37:00.003-05:00

I had originally intended to "tweet" and post from Rothbury, but my blackberry only picked up NPI (the bunk cell phone provider that my dear friend Amy always had to deal with when we were roommates @ MSU- it caused some expensive problems to say the least), so of course none of the data options worked and i could only text ppl that were like two feet away. so much for that. at least i wrote down little blubs on my arms, in my bag, on sugar cane plates :) I hope to make of of this into a decent post, but bear with me as i am still recovering from 4 days without any sleep. Totally worth it though; i will be back next year. In the meantime though, i have some lofty plans for this office. I sat in some of the think tanks @ Rothbury and got some fab ideas. Did you know that sugarcane plates cost less than paper plates AND are better for the environment (the break down into compost faster than paper and with less chemical impact)? That is just one example. Last week my office discontinued paper and insulated cups. I have heard people complain, but not too terribly. I take this as a sign that we have managed to promote some positive social change around here. I am going to talk to our HR person about replacing paper with sugar cane, and using recycled napkins. We are already in talks with Boise Paper (one of our clients, natch) to implement recycled TP in the bathrooms on our floor at least. This is a little bit trickier, as the building shares the same cleaning service and we have to convince them as well. Every little bit helps!

I hope to post more on the overall weekend, but i need to do two things first: upload my pictures (after charging camera) and get some sleep. I have failed miserably at both and i have been back since 3am on Monday. . . oops.

More to come. Please keep trying to do your own version of the 3 r's. . ..

Quiz Mania

2008-06-19T09:49:00.003-05:00

I know this is a cop out for a real post, but a lot of people have been tagging me for these, so here goes:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was just finishing with my eighth grade year, mourning my rejection from the cheerleading squad, and making the most of a summer at home on the lake with friends. I miss those days when days of doing nothing felt so long! Much to my mum’s consternation, I was really into skateboarding and surfing culture (in Michigan, I know, but still!) and spent a lot of spare time learning to skateboard (I am really, really bad!). Thankfully I moved on unscathed by crazy piercings, blue hair, or tattoos. There are still pictures to haunt me though (shudder!)

5 Things on My To Do List Today
Call my lousy landlord to inform them I will be moving out in August- so there!
Exchange leftover Canadian $$ from Bachelorette trip
Make menu lists for upcoming trip to Rothbury
Upload the rest of the wedding pictures from my phone (my project du jour)
Move my car to the “Thursday” side of the street to avoid nasty street cleaning ticket (It is on the “Friday” side of the street today, I cut someone off to get there)

Snacks You Enjoy
Salad Crispins Italian Parmesan Croutons
Strawberries and Cucumber with Balsamic Vinegar
Pita Chips and Garlic Hummus
Oatzels
Laura’s Wholesome Junk Food Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
Fresh Michigan Cherries
Ruby Red Grapefruit
Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar
I could go on. . . .

Places You Have Lived
Ann Arbor, Michigan
East Lansing, Michigan
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Chicago, Illinois
Paris, France

5 Things You Would Do if You Were a Billionaire
Make sure my family was taken care of and all set for life
Quit my job 
Purchase a lake house
Throw out my closet and start over
Lots and lots of Philanthropy; particularly green initiatives and less fortunate women

6 Quirky Things about Myself
I actually really like my freckles and would be really sad if they ever went away or I had to cover them up
I miss studying and taking tests
I don’t have cable, and rarely watch television. Books are so much better
Most of the time, I enjoy the condiments and seasonings more than the food itself (excepting fruit)
Even though I don’t consider myself superstitious, I always avoid walking under ladders, contact with black cats, stepping on the sidewalk cracks, etc. You never know!
I really do believe in Karma. What goes around does really come around. My friend Mary has this theory that all people and events in life come full circle. I am a faithful believer!

I got tagged to do all of these about a million years ago by numerous friends. I am now tagging anyone who has procrastinated as much as I have. I don’t think there are many of you, but you never know. . . . .

Longer, more detailed post to follow.

Really, seriously!

2008-06-17T12:46:00.002-05:00

Coming off of two fun with weekends with my amazing girlfriends, I am realizing that I need to write about them complete with pictures. As it may be noticed, I am not so good at posting pictures in a timely fashion. . . .I need to improve! So. . . .tonight my little iBook and I are going to spend some quality time at the coffeeshop down the street updating older posts and working on some new things as well. I really enjoy blogging, and would like to make it a larger part of my life. This requires a little bit more time commitment than I have been dedicating of late. I realize this, and that is why I want to try and make field trips to the coffee shop a more regular thing.

Check back tomorrow for wedding pics, Muffy pics, and hopefully more writing.

xoxo

2008-06-03T09:12:00.004-05:00

Today is a cynical one. I am not sure if it is the weather (it is humid, kind of chilly and overcast here), the fact that BF is on a mini permanant vacation, or just that I am stuck in a general funk, but today is just not a good one. I am trying to limit the cynical on this blog, but it is hard not to be with current conditions. After reading Matt's blog (see three posts ago), I have come to the conclusion (yet again) that life just isn't fair at all. I don't think that it is fair for me, certainly not fair for Matt or Madeline or Liz, and not fair for anyone in Myanmar, and not fair for anyone who has lost their job because of the current economic situation. Unfortunately, these things show no signs of improving. There is a select percentage of people that are actually thriving (call it the upper class, if you will), but so many others that are struggling to make ends meet. For some reason, I fall into the latter category, but this is mostly because I bought a new car two months before moving here and have student loans. At least I can (almost) make all of my bills every month and still be able to do things. I feel bad for all of the single moms and dads out there that have kids to care for as well on one income. Just another reminder that life really isn't fair. Why was I not born into a trust fund? exactly.

I guess this is just about taking the best of of the worst situations. If you are currently unhappy with your fiscal situation, romantic situation, living situation, career situation, and friend situation, what else can you do, but to fixate as much as possible on what is really good. For me that means enjoying my awesome bathtub with feet (even though it is located in my closet of an apartment), soaking up the sun on Lake Michigan, making the most of my weekends, loving BF for putting up with crazy me, and appreciating the good, true friends I have (even if they are a time zone away). The little things in life.

I am still thinking life is not fair and that I am in a crummy mood today, but maybe the sun will come out tomorrow :)

On another note, sorry for the lack of Muffy pictures. I need to post a lot of pics, just dragging my feet a little right now. Check back soon.

Some Sad Wedding News

2008-06-02T07:06:00.003-05:00

This weekend I had the privelege of seeing M's (of M2) engagement ring. Absolutely gorgeous! I have never been one of those girls that has lived and died at the idea of my wedding, but I really love seeing all of my girls' rings!

After Friday, I got home and saw some bad news on facebook. . . Manda is getting married THE SAME DAY NEXT YEAR AS M2!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me? Already disappointed at this idea, but what can you do? How do you decide?

Gah!

A New Friend!

2008-05-30T12:13:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of BF, I now have a little roommate. He stopped off at this cute little aquarium store in Old Town, and brought me a Betta fish. Based on what I have read, it is a male. This isn't going to stop me from calling it she though. So I have decided to name her Muffy. What can I say? She is a preppy little fish. She is not Pink or Green, but this deep violet- blue sort of color. A picture to follow of my new friend. This will be my third Betta fish ever. The other fishies died under sad (for me at least; I get attached) circumstances.
Fish #1 (Violet)
Acquired from the local Meijer as a Freshman in college. Died sophomore year when the crazy cat lady roommate's cat knocked the bowl over and ate the fish. I have never been a big fan of cats! Incidentally, crazy cat lady never apologized. It's called Karma. . .

Fish #2 Ginger
Other roommate purchased this one from Petco. She was sickly out of the gates, and died the first time BF came over. I started crying and he didn't know what to do. But he stuck around :)

Fish #3 Lola
This was actually a Valentine's gift to Crazy cat lady from one of her many illicit (as I see it) suitors. I have no idea what she originally named it. All I know is that crazy cat lady neglected this poor fish as much as her 3 ill behaved kitties. When I saved it from its demise (after feeding it daily for nearly 2 months), it was in a tank not designed for it, with many, many snails, all of the walls covered with icky green algae, and rotting fins/tail. When I moved out, I took it to my parents house, and we lived there all through the summer while I interned in the Detroit area. Obviously, when I moved to Chicago, she came along (my brother held her in his lap all of the way here)too. Lola grew back all of her rotten fins and used to greet me when I would come home by swimming to the side of the bowl and swishing her tail. I always fed her, and changed her water, but one day I came home from work and she was not there to greet me any longer. I got kind of upset when this happened (a little over a year ago) and said I didn't want another fish.

I am really glad BF brought her home though. She makes me smile :)

Jamba Secret Menu?

2008-05-29T13:28:00.003-05:00

So really off topic here, but one of my co workers just told me that Jamba Juice has a "secret" menu. Like any other American that knows how the internet works, I decided to google it. According to Yelp! users, this is the case; supposedly they have all of these different smoothies. Flavors such as Red Gummi, White Gummi, Pink Starburst, and PB&J are available if you ask. I am going to stop at Jamba on the way home to check this out. If they have Pink Starbursts in liquid form, I am all about it! That is like a dream come true. The link I posted is for Los Angeles, so I hope this is the case in Chicago!

wedding bells

2008-05-29T10:03:00.003-05:00

Here we go with more wedding bliss! Yet another friend is engaged, and I could not be happier for them!

So far here is the count of married, or soon to be married friends:
ErinMc is married with a bundle of joy on the way
Linds is married
Metrogal84 is going to be married in two weeks
Goof is to be married in two weeks
L and Z are to be married in August
LoJ and E are to be married in August
and now
M2 are to be married in August of 2009.

I am so happy for all of my friends finding the right person so young and making the committment. Cheers!

No worries, I am in no rush to get married anytime soon. BF and I are discussing moving in together, but that is as far as it goes for now.

Still, Congratulations to all of you! I could not be happier!!!!

xoxo

Matt L from MN

2008-05-28T14:23:00.003-05:00

I wanted to add this to "Things I Can't Get Out of My Head", but I really can't get it out of my head, so I am thinking this deserves a whole post. A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon the story of Matt, Liz, and Madeleine. Ever since, I have spent every single spare second engrossed in their story. It is heartbreaking, but also very inspirational. This story of, as Matt puts it, "life and death in 27 hours" should leave you with a pile of used Kleenex, a yearning to reach out to your own loved ones, and a want to help this family. Please log onto the site and check it out. Over the course of my many (failed) blogs, I have never once recommended a particular blog. This is my one recommendation. If you read one new thing today, read their story. Matt and Madeleine are in my heart.

Sometimes you're the Windshield, Sometimes you're the Bug

2008-05-22T13:43:00.001-05:00

I am decidedly grumpy today. After feeling like I don’t have enough time for me in my life for the past 3 or so weeks, I am feeling at an all time low. Example: I have not washed my hair since last Friday morning. In case you haven’t checked it is Thursday- almost a week later. Disgusting. To go along with natty hair, my apartment also needs attention. I have finally taken care of the counter full of dishes that has been building up over the past month or so. I cleaned the toilet, but it had really only been like a week. I like to clean it twice a week. I have been told I am neurotic for cleaning as much as I usually do, but looking at the demise of my domestic skills over the past few weeks, I can honestly say that neurotic is better than dirty. It just is. I also haven’t done laundry in a really, really long time. Like I am wearing bottom of the barrel clothing because nothing else can even pass as clean. Its not like I am remotely trendy or stylish in the fashion department anyway. Money has been a bit tight, so I haven’t really bought anything new, or that I have liked in over a year. Anything I do buy, is out of necessity (dress for wedding showers, sports bra). Necessity is more than my budget can handle for now though, so I probably look pretty ragamuffin.

I would like to dedicate this evening to the pursuit of my sanity, but alas, I am tired and have a to do list 86 miles long. This includes monotonous duties such as; deposit cash in bank so account does not become overdrawn, beg for laundry quarters from grocery store, go tanning so that do not look like pasty cow for upcoming bridesmaid gig, shave legs (no attention in at least two weeks), and my favorite; try to stuff trash into overflowing dumpsters behind complex. I keep trying to wait until they aren’t overflowing, but that day has not come anytime recently. At least not while I am home, not like I’m there a lot or anything. . .

But I digress, my to do list seems to be out of control lately, as does my spending, and I have nothing accomplished or anything to show for the outpouring of time and money. Something must be fishy, as the majority of my peers do not feel this worn out from doing this little. I realize part of this must be because I am really stressed about the situation and do not enjoy the 9 hours a day I spend actually earning money. The stress comes from not liking that, and also from trying to pay my bills with not enough money, and knowing there is pretty much no way to make more. I could get another part time job, but I can’t get it together to wash my hair with the one I’ve already got, so this stress will continue until I get my debts paid off, which at this rate, will probably be sometime around the age of 45. There has to be a better way, but I have been racking my already tired brain trying to figure it out and I cannot seem to come up with anything. Meanwhile, I am trying to improve my efficiency at work so that I don’t have as much stress. There are plenty of people who do everything that I need to do all day, plus take care of families and give back to their communities, so what is my problem here? I don’t watch TV, haven’t been to the library in months, don’t really go out to the bar, average only 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night and have them messiest apartment ever. Where does all of my time go? I think I am going to start writing down what I am doing and how long I do it for, because this is just not right.

Does anyone have suggestions for how to get my life in check? I feel as though I am spiraling out of control and may very well lose it one of these days. Maybe this is just an off day, but I have been feeling more and more like this as of late.

On the hunt. . .

2008-05-09T09:04:00.005-05:00

I know it has been ages since i posted. . . i actually have a bunch of posts saved in word documents on my work computerl. i am trying to figure out how to email post from my spiffy little blackberry i recently purchased (back in January???). Once I get that figured out, then maybe these will come a little more frequently. In short to catch up though:
Had Birthday at Redmond's bar in Wrigleyville. It was about at college-y as I could get in Chicago. Unfortunately, some good friends who had RSVP'd decided that my birthday wasn't that important to them, even though they consistently expect me to drop everything to attend to their plans and whims. Kind of eye opening for the way the rest of the year has progressed thus far. . .

Still in row with Dad; I don't think I will ever be good enough for that man. .

Looking for "way out" of current corporate setting. . if anyone has any ideas; i am open to any and all.

Law school. Well, I got accepted at a few, decided not to apply to a few others, got waitlisted at a couple that count, and got rejected from my dream school. So I have decided; coupled with the current economic situation, that I will not be attending. I need to find some form of intellectual stimulation though. Not exactly going v. well considering it is May and most applications were due several months ago. oops. and the tests. oops again. Potentially considering MLS degree. Thoughts?

BF and I broke up. or well, he broke up with me back in the beginning of March. But then he came back after two weeks. This was not a good two weeks for me. If you know where to look there are various pictures of me "out on the town" from those two weeks. I look happy, but I can assure you I was miserable. The only perks were my friends. You really find out who is your friend and who is just an acquaintance.

Out of the breakup, I decided to start seeing a therapist again. I'm not any crazier than anyone else, but I tend to be a bit of an over achiever and people pleaser type. So I drive myself crazy. With the whole BF thing, I really lost it. Living in a big city where you don't have as much control as you would like over menial things does not help the cause. My therapist will be referred to as PSY from here on out.

I got a promotion if you want to call it that. We really only do lateral moves, so techically I didn't move up. But you do need higher qualifications for this position than the last one. So I sort of think I moved up. And I have to talk to people much less on the phone. And for two whole weeks I actually learned something new! Who would have thought? But now I am back to being bored. At least I'm efficient!

Also, I am in weddings for two very good friends this summer. Wedding#1 is in June and Wedding#2 is in August. I have been very caught up in all of the rituals and festivities, and it occurs to me that I only want to ever get married for the poufy white dress and the fun parties. Obviously I am not in that "married" frame of mind yet. I still have a lot of living to do!

That is about the update for now. In a few hours, I will be in the stinky metal can known as Amtrak speeding (Well not really, but it is faster than walking alright!) towards East Lansing. A fitting for one of those lovely bridesmaid dresses, and Mother's Day brew haha abound.

Can't wait! More to come, I mean it this time!

First time?

2007-12-15T22:26:00.000-06:00

Seeing as I have hardly any time in my life these days, the posts onto here will most likely be super sporadic. I do like the idea of a sort of posting board for links, pictures and ideas that catch my eye, ear or mind.

The best was to describe myself is to say that I am a young professional who has not managed to grow up yet. i don't grow old, just tired. i swear! I work for a large company and that takes most of my week up. other than that, i somehow manage to go to a bunch of events here in Chicagoland, and apply for grad school. that is my biggest goal right now; to get into a great law school. well that and to get more organized, not be so sensitive to what others say do and think about me, put attire in my closer that i actually wear and not be wasteful with crummy fashion choices.

Speaking of being wasteful, i started this blog in part because i care about being green. Recycling is really important and in the past year i have worked on reusing and reducing. it is amazing how wasteful you realize yourself and others can be when you start to really pay attention. like this city for example- Chicago touts itself as being one of the greenest cities. i don't understand how they can call themselves that when there isn't a real and consistent recycling program in the city, and they aren't very efficient at taking care of bureaucratic issues without being wasteful. we have a river, but i work on that river and right now it is steaming. fyi, it is like 17 degrees and blizzard conditions out there, yet the river is steaming. that can't be very good for what little ecosystem is left there! i wonder if anyone thinks about that? or if anyone thinks about how toxic the fumes are. or if cta thinks about how if they serviced their equipment more often, maybe it wouldn't polllute as much? all of these little things add up. and don't even get me started on packaging! luckily i live v.close to the grocery store. i use those whole foods fabric/plastic bags when i can and because i live so close, i try to carry everything or stuff it in my coat or something. yeah, the checkout people look at me like i've gone sideways, but at least i saved a bag!

I want to take this approach with shopping for fashion too. i mean, who really needs ten pair of jeans? also, one handbag should suffice if you have done your research. i figure not only will this approach be better for the environment and general consumption, but i will also save money, which, trust me, is a good thing. i was reading in our elevator (i like to take the stairs, but in our building it isn't allowed because of security or something- boo) the other morning on one of those TV like screens that flash useless and some useful information, that the national debt is really bad. like the consumers- their debt is really bad. that means me, and i must say, it is true. i am in over my head. but who that has recently graduated from college isn't? i live above my means, but when i say above my means, i am saying that i buy groceries, take the el and do laundry. i don't have cable, internet or gas. most people think that puts me in the stone age or something, and for office watercooler talk, it really does. except that we don't have a water cooler, just built in refrigerator icemaker and water thing. but i have no idea if heidi and spencer are doing well these days, or if its mcdreamy or mcsteamy, and i certainly don't know who is american idol, or top model, or the best star dancer or whatever. but at least those are 3 less bills and 3 less resources i consume at an astounding rate. but alas, i do miss the internet. so i do it at work (shhh, big dirty secret) or while i am at other people's places (like now) i have a macbook and i kind of wish i had gotten the smaller model instead of the medium sized one. maybe it would have been more efficient? oh well too late now, i need to hang on to this one until it drops.

The worst part about trying to be green is most definitely the paper plates and not using as much water. i don't have a dishwasher (probably a good thing for the water usage? maybe???) so when i want to eat i use a real plate and it sits in the sink for longer than i care to admit. my place isn't like a frat house or anything, but it really isn't what i was going for in terms of cleanliness. with paper, you can just toss that bleached, factory created, chemical coated mess with the tomato sauce into the trash can and you are done. voila! except that if you ate every meal off of a paper plate and everyone did that sort of thing then it would really add up. so i haven't bought paper plates in a long time. i feel guilty every time i go down that aisle. As for the water usage, i used to think when i was a little kid that if it was "city" water it didn't really matter how much you use in the shower because it just gets recycled, right? well yeah, but they have to do all of this junk to it at first and really should we be drinking and bathing with that over clorinated product? maybe not. but it is still not good to take hourlong showers. i cannot seem to justify it in anyway. i really can't. and i do love taking long showers. but i need to help this city be more green and one more person not taking forever in the shower has to count somewhere.

i am going to keep posting any ideas i find on how to be greener, but also how to be fashionable, organized, etc. basically anything that i think would benefit me (so maybe it would benefit you). when i figure out the pictures, i will add more.