And Yet. . .

I know this blog has been neglected- not shown the love it deserves, but really i have a lot of items written for it. It's just that my trigger finger is sort of shy and doesn't want to alienate anyone. But I'm going to take a chance. I seem to be taking far more chances lately, be it online or in real life or driving or eating or talking or whatever. But here goes. This is the deep end I'm jumping into here.

For a number of years, I have had an "anonymous" blog that I have been writing in pretty regularly. Mostly because when you don't have a name and face, far less editing seems required. But I think it might be time to leave that behind. Starting now, all posts that would appear there, will appear hear instead. Yes, this means I will be posting more often. Will you enjoy the content? Not entirely sure there. I am pretty edited as I appear here, so expect a departure from the regular. I don't mean to offend anyone and please let me know if I do at all, but this is something I have been thinking about for a long time and the timing (for once in my life) is right. Wish me luck. Love me, or leave me.

Movin' Out

Well, it's that most wonderful time the those of us non-homeowners experience every year or few: apartment hunting time. It always sneaks up on me; I try not to think about it because it is so awful and then it is upon me like a crocodile and only weeks to figure out where myself and my book collection are going to live. This time around, I will most likely be downsizing. BF left for Atlanta, so I have had a two bedroom palace to myself for the past two months or so. This sounds like a good thing, but in reality, it isn't. It just means that I have now spread what used to be contained in a bedroom and walk in closet throughout an entire two bedroom place! And I like it that way. I even have a hooping area and a den/laundry folding room! Suffice to say, moving back into a shoebox sized studio is going to be an adjustment. I mean, a hooping area- awesome! Price is a factor here and I wish it weren't. If I had a money tree, I'd just get another two bedroom place and spread my self hither and yon. Alas, I have an all important budget to stick to (yes, I'm still using it Hillzy). This means that I either move in with some roommates (complete strangers), or find the deal of the century on a bootbox. I am approaching from both angles and I must say; I am my own worst enemy. I find something wrong with every place I go to. Clearly I am being overly critical. Hopefully meetings with potential roommates go a little bit better. It's really not nice to be critical of someone you just met. Especially when you would be moving into their abode.

So here's the score:
Shoeboxes 5, Me 0, Ties 2 (the ties are only because I have two places to "fall back on")
Bootboxes (no data available because I haven't found one in my price range yet)
Roommates 12 potentials. The meetings start next week. Wish me luck.


Do yourself a favor- figure out where you want to live and just buy a dumb place already. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

That didn't go as expected, now did it?

As I had written in my last post, this Sunday was supposed to include 30 minutes of in-the-present, focused, and relaxed "me" time.

I am sort of ashamed to admit that it didn't happen. But I think I have a good reason and really, I'm not feeling horribly guilty for not hitting that particular timeline. Maybe I am better for not caring? Who knows.

Here is what I learned this weekend:
Just because it is October, just because you *think* you know what sort of people might be attending an event, don't assume that you should wear anything resembling a Tutu to a concert in Chicago. I made this exact mistake, and BF rocked out his Woodersen costume from last year (you know, the dude from 'Dazed and Confused'?) at Saturday night's Yonder Mountain String Band show @ The house of blues. Rereading that sentence, I already see at least 4 things wrong with my actions. One, The House of Blues. in Chicago. This might be my least favorite venue of all time in the city. If you check message boards for artists' upcoming shows there, they all call is "House of RULES". That is true, as is the assumption that there is heavy consumerism and VIP action. With that being said, not a good place to wear something that doesn't involve jeans and shirt and some sensible shoes. Not only will everyone look at you funny, security might take your glow sticks and granola bar away for further questioning. The second item would be that BF was dressed as pretty much every neo-hippie's hero (It'd be a whole lot cooler if you did. .. Love those redheads. .. ) and therefore all of the neo-hippies (Yonder Mountain String Band plays bluegrass and frequents the jam band festival circuit- so there were a lot of these) could not get over seeing someone dressed like their hero in the flesh. I can say that sometimes I identify with this demographic (especially when Phish is involved), but I don't think I would drop so many "man"s in one sentence- ever. ANd worst of all, I was wearing a Tutu. The whole point of these concerts is come together, dance your cares away, we are all the same- even the guys onstage. Except I was wearing a tutu and therefore everyone started at me. This is not fun. Especially when the vegan girls with dreadlocks who only wear clothes from salvation army and only eat food from the dumpster get on their soapbox and how I am singlehandedly a jerk for destroying feminism and how could I possibly buy something like a tutu that would really be quite easy to make. *for the record, I bought the tutu at a resale shop. I had made one a few years back, but due to my lack of sewing skills, it pretty much disintegrated, so $10 for a tutu seemed like a steal to me.

So we left. Before the concert was even over. I am not YMSB's biggest fan, but I do enjoy live music and the entire scene of people and venue and ego was just too much for me to squeeze that enjoyment out. When I got home, and took off my glitter and tutu and tights, I realized that I really like me. Like I love that I left, even though who leaves in the middle of the concert? And I love that I came home and put on a black top and some skinny jeans. And I love that BF can rock Woodersen in public and do the voice and everything! IT all makes me laugh.

Which brings me back to my original point- the point of my assignment was to get more in touch with myself by focusing on something for me. Both my therapist and I had assumed that I needed total concentration and seclusion to do this. Obviously this is not completely true. No man (or woman!) is an island. Sometimes I wish I could be, but then I'm right back there.

So thank you Sarshie, for the suggestions. I sang the entire cab ride home. And then I hooped in my chic outfit in my living room when I got there. I guess those are my ways of being with myself.

(It occurs to me that I should be posting a picture, but seeing as this was written from my blackberry and I am just pressing "publish" from my office computer, that might have to come later. Apologies, because I do look pretty ridiculous/funny- but in a happy way! wearing a tutu.)

Blank Space? Anyone?

I keep trying to break up with my therapist. This is way more difficult than you might imagine. I have tapered it off to every other week and perhaps this schedule might pare down to once a month and then finally end. You see, she went on maternity leave this summer and I did just fine without a weekly dose of introspection (you see, I think too much already, so is this really helping?) and I was all set to be done cold turkey. But then I wanted to wrap things up (maybe I felt bad for quitting her- guilt!) and my insurance changed (making this an even more expensive weekly endeavor) so I figured I could just go once or twice and set things straight. Then she has to go and point out all of the things I SHOULD be working on (man, I must be lazy). Which is an epic list at any given point in time- the road to self actualization is long and winding road apparently. Maybe this is what the Beatles were singing about on The White Album? Who knows, all I know is that she pointed out that I don’t ever seem to take the time to just take care of me and do things just for me. There is always some sort of agenda, maybe I have created it, but it is certainly almost always serving someone else- not me.

She recommended taking 30 minutes a day to do something just for myself. It can’t be to forward my career, or develop a relationship, or improve, or maintain- it has to be solely me based and in the present. I thought about this and of course tried to do it. I lasted 30 seconds, no joke! I rang her after and told her the issue. She knocked it down to 30 minutes a week (suddenly I felt relieved?!). Half of me is dreading this 30 minutes and half of me is looking forward to indulging myself for that long. Except I can’t decide the logistical features, let alone HOW I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO PULL THIS OFF! Suggestions for what I should be doing for that 30 minutes would be appreciated. I can’t even decide what I should DO! I think it will fit in nicely on Sunday, as I don’t have a lot of immediate plans with people and work expectations regarding Sundays are quite low. Please provide a suggestion in the comments, or if you have my number/email/twitter, send me some that way- I would really appreciate it!. I am going to have to do this every week and I could really use a nudge in the right direction. I think everybody should do this too- if you don’t already that is!
Maybe there is a some big league of people that have made a pact with themselves and others that they are going to do something ridiculously inefficient and indulgent and ENJOY it too at a certain time every day or week or month or whatever? If you are one of those people, what is your secret?! Let me drink your kool-aid. . .

Someone suggested a while back that I might have ADD. Don't we all? To be so busy keeping up with the Jones', twittering, posting, emailing, blogging, facebooking, myspacing, calling, texting, and really interacting with people- how can you not have focus issues?

I used to self medicate by reading all of the time. Except most of the reading I do know is either “I need to go to grad school so help me god I must write good essays and pass this test” reading or “I have already read this book and I have always said I like reading so I’m just going to do this because it takes up time” or “someone suggested this book to me and we are hanging out this weekend, so I had better plow through this whether I like it or not so when she bring it up I don’t look stupid” reading. Not a lot of that “get lost in a book and go on an adventure in your head” type of reading that I truly love so much. I mean, how are you supposed to get into it with all of the noise and things going on and things you may be missing?

I suppose what I NEED is this: “got a blank space where my mind should be”. Where did that blank space go? Did it disappear with the Phish Summer Tour season? HELP me find it!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. . .OR- Reality Bites

As a result of not sleeping all weekend because I was in Las Vegas and sleep is just not an option there, I seem to have acquired a nasty little cold. Just in time for it to SNOW in Chicago, apparently, so I guess it is fitting. So here I sit, at my desk, with a snot Niagara Falls coming out of my nose. Not exactly what I had in midn for my return to the office (think bronzed skin, cute little highlights, hydrated skin and face from a day of rest post flight), but at least people are keeping a wide berth. That means a little bit less busy work dumped on my desk:)

I had a great time. I actually forgot about life for awhile- I mean, Phish and music festival style. Obviously Vegas is a much different scene, but the feeling of escape is still the same. Except of course, when it is time to come home. Recovery is much more difficult and the stress level of not having any alone time, or bonding time with those that you are close to is enormous.

So what I'm say is. . . I feel like I have post vacation depression. Hopefully it is temporary and will pass shortly. BF was very kind to me when I got off the plane and that helped greatly. The airline managed to lose one of my bags- but found it! Then I couldn't go to sleep and BF stayed up with me- until 5AM (my inner clock is waaaayyyy off!). Last night I tried to go to bed early, but it didn't go so well. I woke up with this lovely upper respiratory awesomeness and so goes the day. I'm pretty sure some of the other ladies are feeling as good as I am right now.

But at least it IS chicken soup weather :)


Going to get some chicken soup for my soul and my throat.

The Quarter Life Headache

I am on the edge of the life decision cliff right now- do I stay at my job that I can't stand but is very secure (and in a city I can't afford!), or do I strike out and try for another somewhere else? The biggest issue is the somewhere else I think. I desperately want to go back to school (thats right, throw some more stress on the pile!), and the graduate program I am interested in isn't exactly offered everywhere. This narrows some places down. Also, my family really wants me to be as close or closer to them. I don't think I necessarily agree with this, but it hurts to not agree with my mother on the phone, so I can't imagine what it would be like to call and tell her I'm moving to Oregon or something. Which brings me to my next point- where would I fit best? Weather, culture, job availablity, compensation, cost of living, accessibility; these are all factors too. Plus there is the BF card. . . .I am not sure if he is factoring in me when he is job hunting in other locales, but I am factoring in him. Obviously, after 5 (on and off) years together, I can't just forget about someone. All things I need to think about. No wonder my head hurts. Its enough to make me want to pack a backpack and hop the next plane to wherever!

BBQ and Beer with?????

I have been writing for The Local Tourist here in Chicago. This takes up some of my spare time, yes, but I really like doing it and it is my first "real" blog. I have been making my fair share of mistakes while doing this, don't get me wrong. Having a day job is proabably the first one. . .closely followed by tons of technical errors. Lets just say I'm glad I'm not getting scored figure skating style! Anyway, tonight is the North Neighborhoods Meet and Greet. This is basically a chance for everyone to come out and meet new friends, hang with old friends, and of course meet me. Sort of a debut party for me being the host of the North Neighborhoods. I am really hoping that any of you in Chicago come by! I like to meet new people and really like seeing old friends and people I have somehow managed to drift from.

To be honest, this is the first time I have helped "throw" an event that wasn't just an all you can drink boozefest for a friend's birthday. I didn't approach businesses very well for "sponsorship" because no one seemed very interested. They all asked if this was for a charitable cause and I pretty much had to say no, even though all donation monies for "swag bags" go to the Local Tourist herself, Theresa Carter, to put towards a goal of raising $20,000 for pedatric aids. She is even climbing Mt. Kilmanjaro. Then I just sort of shut down. I guess I am sort of shy sometimes. If you come up to me, no problem; but I seem to have issues coming up to you and spouting off what I have to say. So I think I mucked it up. Theresa has been very understanding and is a great mentor for all things social media. Me, I can't even seem to figure out how to work the google spreadsheet. Suffice to say, this event is turning into less of the multi faceted marketing, advertising, charitable, social networking awesomeness I had originally envisioned, and more like one of the birthday fests described above. Except that Sheffield's is actually nice and previous birthday fetes have been at complete dives. And Theresa did very well with the whole marketing thing- there are sponsors.

So please come- and donate to the cause if at all possible. $25 online at this link gets you
BBQ Buffet
House Wine
Oktoberfest Beer (this is why I love Sheffield's)
Soda

and good company:)

It is $30 at the door of Sheffield's, one of my favorite bars in Lakeview/Wrigleyville (it rides the line between your favorite pub in college and a grown up pint).

Starts at 6:30PM and goes to 9:30PM.

Please come! Tickets here.

I am really hoping lots of my friends (that would be you) come so I don't look like a total loser. Plus I can only eat so much BBQ without exploding and it isn't good leftover. Neither is leftover beer.

If you really miss me. . .

I am also still here on twitter! I actually update that multiple times per day. Plus you can catch all of my Local Tourist posts there.
follow me: @randommsugirl

A new home on the Internet and renewed inspiration

Seeing as I have a monster conference call starting in 15 minutes about god knows what (sounds like blah, blah, blah to me), I think I may have some time carved out to write a blog post. On my own blog! I have been writing, but not exactly on my own site. Recently, I met a great gal in Chicago who founded this site that basically tells people where to go, whether visiting or residing. She asked if I would like to contribute, and of course I couldn't turn down an awesome offer like that! So I started writing for the North Neighborhoods of Chicago on http://www.theLocalTourist.com. (Save that in your bookmarks- and visit often, please :)) Which is great, because I am learning about how to best attract an audience, plus write about where I live and all of the cool things that there are to do. Is a win- win. Unfortunately, I had to keep my day job (which most of you know does not suit me at all) and my hours got increased, so my personal blogging took a backseat. But recently BF started a blog and reminded me why I love doing this so much- writing is my outlet; right, wrong, or indifferent. I guess this means I have decided to say eff the backposts I have stored on my desktop and just start writing again. As always, unedited and probably super random. If you want something more polished, check out The Local Tourist.

FRIEND ships

Two of my best friends in the whole world came to visit me this past weekend and it just drove home how much I miss them and how much I miss out on their lives. We happen to live an entire time zone away from each other, so whenever we get to see each other, it is cause for celebration! This weekend was no different. We started the weekend off by consuming a wee bit more wine than was probably a good idea at the best Thai food place in the whole wide word and then moved on to hula hooping in my living room (I am obsessed, I'll admit it!) before heading out for some live blues at Kingston Mines.

Several months ago, one of these lovely ladies came down here for my birthday weekend and we went to Kingston Mines that weekend too. Suffice to say, we were just as hungover on this occasion as the last one and we had just as much fun dancing ourselves silly. Yeah, we didn't feel so motivated or with it the next day, but it was totally worth it!

I am sad to say that I don't talk to them nearly as much as I'd wish to. Or see them. Or email them. Or be there when I feel like I should be there for them. I get upset and start to feel guilty about this, but it seems like this is how it goes as we get older. This is no excuse and it doesn't make it any better, but the onward march of time means that as we age, we give more and more to careers and partners and children and hobbies and less to the people and passions that mattered along the way. I am sorry that this is how it is, but it makes me treasure weekends like this past one and still wish that we had more to share. I miss you guys already!

There are gold ships and there are silver ships, but the best ship is friendship.

Hiatus?

Obviously, I have been "away" for awhile here. People ask me, "when are you going to post again?" and I don't really know how to answer. I have a million excuses, not the least of which is work. The truth is, I do work a lot, and I feel a bit intimidated by my lack of social media background. I have decided to try not to let this get to me. Two of my good friends were in town for the Ragan Unconference yesterday, and we ended up going for dinner and drinks with some people I could only refer to as "internet friends". In talking with these people, it occurs to me that maybe I am not the square peg in the round hole after all. I actually knew that they were talking about and also, I could talk twitter with them. This is good, as most people in my day to day life have no clue at all whatsoever what twitter is. This is a good indicator that I need to start blogging on a more regular basis- MAKE time for it, because it is fun!

Which brings me to my next announcement; I am on twitter! I have been on twitter for over a year now, so sorry for the late announcement :) anyway, if you want to follow, you can do so by clicking here. I actually manage to update pretty often, as I can do so from my blackberry. I used to be able to access from the office comp, but they blocked it and I have to say that is probably for the best, or I would be stuck at work even later than I already am!

Also, when I first started writing this, I had some inherent fear of being "found". Too bad that already happened and I'm over it. By now most people know who I am, so I am just going to roll with it. Sarah from Sensibly Sassy seems to do just fine being "herself" publicly, so why can't I?

Anyway, feel free to drop by in the coming weeks. There might actually be something to read for once!

xoxo, I miss you all, especially those I got to see last night :)

Tra-La-La

We have started decking the halls as of last night. Paper snowflakes on the windows, handmade wreath on the front door, fake frost on the window panes. . . .
Tonight we are going to get the Tree! We wanted to be all City Traditional and get it from one of the many lots, drag home and haul up the stairs, but home depot and menards are proving to be much more affordable. Besides, no one will notice once it is lovingly adorned, right? Thoughts on this? I just hope all of the needles don't fall off before Christmas and that the aroma fills the apartment!

Besides that, I unpacked the snowglobes that my Grandfather had purchased for me every year from Neiman Marcus. Always modeled after some Christmasy artwork popular at that time, they are very interesting to look at. Sadly, the seal broke on the the one from 1994 and some of the water (I think it is water?)had leaked out and the snow and glitter followed. Sadness :( Does anyone out in blog land know how to fix a snowglobe? no glass is broken, but all of the contents have leaked out and it makes me so sad! I just hope none of the ornaments broke on the harrowing trip back from Michigan. (the waves were topping the cement barrier along Lakeshore!) All of those ornaments are from my Grandpa and Grandma's first tree. They are all super beautiful, being that they are from the 1940s and 1930s and pretty colors. I can't wait to put them up on our tree!!

Ah, the holidays. . ..

Been Away Much?

Okay, so 2 months is a bit of a hiatus. Especially when every blog post (that actually made it on here) refers to "getting it together" and "posting more often". Whoops! sorry about that. I have been. . . . .busy. Lame excuse I know, but I don't have any other. I have managed to write bits I want to post about, they just happen to be on to do lists, napkins, work computer word documents, etc. Also I have been posting on twitter! So at lease I have been doing some blogging, even if it is "micro" (way to make me feel small!).

However, I am dropping in here because I have heard so much, 'you never post anymore!', and I don't. I feel bad about it. Not bad in the malaise sense, but bad because I know I am better than that and dammit this is something I enjoy!

I will spare you a recap of the last two months, if I ever manage to back post other writings, that should sum all of those exploits up for you all.

But the point: Have a happy holiday! The most wonderful time of the year technically starts tomorrow, and I can't wait! I grew up with the most wonderful Holiday experience and it has most definitely rubbed off on me. I remember going to Hudson's as a child with my grandfather. Grandpa loved shopping and Christmas above all else. We would go see Santa, and then wander around looking at all of the holiday ornaments and decorations on the top floor of the Twelve Oaks Hudson's. I can still remember how it smelled! My mom is as into the season as my grandfather was. I can expect to be spending a great deal of Black Friday and Saturday helping to deck her halls. This is rewarding work, even if I won't get to see it again until Christmas eve :(

The biggest different this year, is that I will have my own halls to deck. Because I no longer live in the shoe closet, and have in fact moved it on up, I can have a tree, a wreath, some stockings, garland, maybe even some lights! I am feeling especially lucky, because my mother is letting me take a substantial amount of my grandfather's Christmas items. When we cleaned out his house after he died, it was very difficult to decide what should stay and what should go. Because I was only 14 at the time, I regret some of the things I let go. However, I did have the presence of mind to demand all of this holiday stuff. After 10 years of chilling in boxes in mom's basement, all of it will be restored to its former grandeur and displayed upon my lovely (crummy, crumbly) vintage walls. I am almost as excited about this as I am about going home and stuffing myself full of food. Not that I don't stuff myself everytime I am in the southeastern region of Michigan, but come on, its Thanksgiving!

Speaking of Turkey day, this year I have decided that I need some new traditions. Namely, I will not be spending Thanksgiving with my dad this year. Every year, Mom gets Christmas and Dad gets Thanksgiving and Easter. But this year, I don't think dad is getting anything, as he is not showing an interest. I know we all get busy (boy, don't I! look at the state of this blog!), but he has yet to return my calls regarding Holiday itineraries. SO, this particular gathering holiday is going to be about gathering with my friends and my mother. We will see how this sticks in the coming years.

Best Turkey Day wishes to everyone! Don't drink too much tonight (I, for one am going to try not to!), don't eat so much your pants won't button, and watch out for those shopper stampedes on Friday.

Xoxo

Back to the Earth

I have been insanely busy trying to move to a new place (with BF!), study for the GRE, and find a new way to waste those hours from 8-5, Monday through Friday. This does not leave much time left for "fun". Blogging is fun. Reading is fun. Watching trashy television is fun. Shopping is fun. (I think you get the idea). Working, moving yourself, cleaning and trying to play Ms. Fix it are not fun activities. So this means two things. . . . .I am lacking creativity right now, and I have posted in forever! I have lots to say and have been thinking about a lot of things, but getting them up here hasn't happened yet.

Considering that I finally have wireless high speed internet consistently again (first time in two years!), I need to at least post something. So here you go: stolen from Sensibly Sassy, 7 Things I Have Never Done:
I Have NEVER. . .
1) . . . .smoked a cigarette. I haven't even taken a puff!
2). . . .cooked a burger or steak. not a huge red meat fan, so why stray from chicken?
3). . . .drank the milk from my cereal. i think this is grody, but if you enjoy it, more power to you.
4). . . .gotten a speeding ticket (knock on wood here)
5). . . .had plastic surgery, body altering things done
6). . . .hired movers to move me. this will be changing the next time i move!
7). . . .worn foundation, concealer, powder, etc. i have never really worn makeup to speak of. i should probably learn how to put it all on before I look like an age spot mess.

I will post pictures. I will post something a little more interesting. It seems I never manage to make time to do these things. But I know I need to.

Comments?

Metrogal84 brought it to my attention that my comments were "not working". I checked out this section, and it looks like they are good to go. I have no idea what I did, and I apologize for whatever it is. Anyway, comments should be good to go now. Sorry about that!

The expense

Ah, my ship has not come in just yet. No new camera, but I am hoping I can get pictures from friends for a time. Instead, I got my mail yesterday and there was a lot in there (I only get my mail once a week because I really only get mail once a week, because this is Chicago and my mail person is lazy. The only problem with this is that there is the potential to have two weeks worth of mail that will not fix in your mailbox. I have no control over what day is delivered) that I didn't want to see. The usual junk mail, magazines (yay vogue and vanity fair), advertisements for a new roof or driveway (don't have either of those), and of course the bills. Except that this time there were 4 nasty nasties. the first of which being a bill for the doctors office for an appointment I didn't have and didn't go to. The second being a bill from the city for parking tickets I appealed nearly two years ago. Apparently I didn't win because not only am I being billed, but they are twice as much and interest is being charged! WTF?! I called to try and resolved the issue, but was told I had to pay for the tix. Then sat on hold for another 20 minutes (the city has awful hold music, like a cross between muzak, Kenny G, and bad German Techno beats) to talk about setting up a payment plan for this ungodly sum ($786.00!!!!!). Alas, the phone is finally picked up by a disgruntled sounding customer service rep (this must be the worst job in the world, hands down) who informed me that I am unable to set up a plan because I am not on Welfare (I have a job and no kids. . . shouldn't I get rewarded?)and that I had better pay up at least half today and then I could pay the rest over the next 6 months, but still with interest. I paid up the initial $100 and then put the rest of the $343.00 on 3 different credit cards (stupid city) because I was informed that for each month I don't pay up, interest plus another $100 accrues. Good God! This is bad news in the mail if I have ever gotten it. The next offending piece was a letter from my landlord with a move out checklist (like the dorms!)and a note reminding me that my move out date is 8-30-2008. . .WHAT?????? According to my lease I can stay until 9/1 @ 12noon. This is imperative because BF has to be out of his place on 8/31 @ 12 noon, and we are still negotiating the new place, but it really looks like 9/1. Sh*t~! So I call them up, (2nd nasty call involving lots of waiting) and after getting the busy signal twice, get "Brittany" the nitwit at the front desk. Brit and I have history, as I have threatened lawsuits and sicced government agencies on this management company on multiple occasions, so of course she puts me on hold forever upon hearing my name. Great. Finally I get the office manager and she informs me that I do in fact need to be out on 8/30 @ 12noon because that is the time I specified? I didn't specify anything. I mentioned my lease at this point and she chewed me out, saying that it meant nothing because it was with the previous management company. Grrrr. I am going to call the building manager now and see if anyone is actually moving into this rat trap. I doubt it, as over half the complex is vacant. If no one is moving in, then why should this even be an issue. Yuck. Last offending piece of mail was note from credit card (the one I put the parking tix on incidentally) that interest rates are going to be the prime rate + a bajillion percent. So now my parking tickets are going to cost $786.00+ (786x (28.99%)= a lot of frickin money for tix I thought I was off the hook for. Seriously, how can anyone afford this city?

Will post later when have cooled down more. Was not as productive as one would have hoped (we have an Oberon supplier in Chicago now, what can you do?) because I got a little extra tipsy on Friday night. However, just because I didn't make it to a place of internet, doesn't mean I didn't write anything. More word documents, to be uploaded when I do make it to said internet place. No pictures though. Sorry for the lack of entertainment!

Holy Field Trip

After an interesting time last weekend, I am happy to say that I have limited plans this weekend. A lot of people are out of town, so maybe I can manage to catch up on sleep and on here. I am beginning to think that this just isn't meant to have pictures on it. My digital camera died a slow and painful death this weekend. THen again, I have had it since 2004, so what am I complaining about? having to buy a new one. It amazes me that a new camera, same model (canon elph sd), more pixels (obviously some time has passed here), but same camera is the same price it was when I bought my original one. Needless to say, that purchase will have to wait until my ship comes in. I don't really know when that will be, but I am hoping soon. So what i am saying is, no pictures for now. :( sorry, i really like to blog and i really like to take pictures, but when i get busy, these are the first things that get pushed to the backburner. I would like to write in more detail about last weekend, but all i can seem to get out are the events that unfolded:

First and foremost, L+Z's beautiful wedding. I cannot describe how beautiful this was. Gorgeous! totally worth her two years of planning! We took pictures at one of the places i think i wuold eventually like to be married, so you can imagine how amazing those are. Unfortunately, i don't have any of these pictures because of aforementioned camera misfortune. But I have friends that took pics, so hopefully I can just mooch off of theirs. The entire weekend, from Thursday boating and bachelorette tanning to rehearsal dinner atop the Park Place, to the sweet reception was everything I would have dreamed of in L+Z's case. There were 6 people in my overpriced room at the Park Place: Woody, otherspartangirl, Metrogal84 and her husband, and of course BF. BF was a bit of a surprise showing seeing as event number two. . . .

Event #2. Several hours before I was supposed to head up to Traverse city for bachelorette fun, BF got the call that his mom had died. This is never a fun call to take, particularly being that she was young- 57 in fact. Plus it is his MOM. I would be a complete train wreck if my mom died at this point; in fact, you might have to commit me, because whenever anything gets bad in my world I do what any upset person does: call mummy dearest. BF was not particularly close with his mother, in fact they didn't talk all that much; he is much closer to his dad, and i suspect if his dad ever died, he would go to pieces as well. However, his mother did die and he is very upset, as we all would be. Of course this meant a funeral and viewing and wake and all of those lovely funeral activities when a loved one passes. The chosen date for the funeral was Friday. I am thankful it fell on that day, because even though I had to drive 4 hours downstate to attend the funeral (only to drive 4 hours back upstate to make the rehearsal dinner), I could at least attend and be there for BF. I was thinking it would be on Saturday and that would be a nightmare, as I was an attendant for L's wedding. The funeral was beautiful but sad. Someone had decided to paint his mom's nails red (her favorite color) and her lips too. This somehow reflected her personality well. Seeing his mom laid out like that only made me miss mine all the more. The last time i "saw" her was for Metrogal84's wedding, but we haven't hung out since my "episode" in early March. This seems like a really long time. She is coming to visit next weekend.

But all in all I cried buckets of tears this weekend, happy and sad.

I just love weddings :) All this talk of weddings made me want to get married and plan my own. But really I think I just want to have a wedding; not ready to be a grownup yet. Plus I can't even afford a ceremony, let alone the reception right now.

For now I am going to chill out, update things (this??), hunt for sales on Digital cameras, and catch up on sleep. Have a happy friday!

Unsolicited Opinions

Interestingly enough, just when I start getting it together to update regularly, I have to take time out to find a new place to live. This has been a very stressful past few weeks, but on Wednesday afternoon, BF and I finally found the apartment of our dreams. I was beginning to think that it didn't exist. We had the rug pulled out from under us on all of the other fabulous places, so I was definitely ready to celebrate when we got the call back that the place was ours! Yay! Some of my coworkers had already planned a going away soiree for Woot (one of the girls that I am friends with in the office). This was to take place as sort of a happy hour- into the night sort of thing. I was really happy for Woot, being that she was moving on to greener pastures. I envisioned a night of happy cocktails with good people. It didn't hurt that the place we were going to had great drink specials.

So we all arrive with Woot in tow. Being that she didn't have to work the next day, she was all out to have a good time. The rest of us felt the same way, but that work was NOT going to be fun the next day. A motley assortment of people managed to roll in; a mixture of Woot's personal friends, coworkers and other satellite friends. All was going well, the weather was behaving, and the drinks were flowing. This is where it gets ugly.

There are certain people that you will encounter over a lifetime that you aren't really a huge fan of, and they aren't really anyone who you value the opinion of. In may cases, these happen to be friends of friends; not really anyone important. Well, Woot's roommate is most def one those people. I have always tried to reserve my judgement about her, but last night she took it one step to far. She also managed to collude in this with one of M's best girlfriends (if you remember, M is another coworker that I am good friends with)that I expect poor behavior from consistently; we will call her "Princess", because that is the title that best suits her.

M, Woot's roommate, Princess and I were discussing my upcoming move with BF. It is kind of a big deal when you make a decision to move in with your significant other. I was saying that we planned to have a housewarming party and that I would sent out invites accordingly now that my place will be bigger than shoe closet I currently inhabit.(Note: these were the girls I went out with the night after BF and I broke up for two weeks, so some animosity is warranted, but not like I am about to write about)Princess, who always "tells it like it is"; one of the many not so charming facets of her personality, tells me that she "respects my decision", because I am "an adult", but honestly, she thinks I am really stupid for doing this and can't believe I would be "that dumb". Ah, nice to hear on a summer's night when I AM SUPPOSED TO BE CELEBRATING! Wait, it gets better. Woot's roommate had to chip her two cents in too: "yeah, he's a "d bag" and "no one likes him anyway", then also reminds me that "no one has any respect for someone that pathetic". I know we were drinking, but A) I didn't ask for your opinion, B) didn't your mother teach you how to speak properly, and C) do I look like I care? I have not run into such blatant rudeness and stupidity since High School. Who are these girls? A little bit about them: both come from $$, went to good schools, and have difficulty holding on to a boyfriend. In fact, Woot's roommate has never had one. or a fling. or anything.

Suffice to say, I am glad that they are M and Woot's friends, not mine. I don't even want to be in the same room as these obnoxious idiots! I don't offer my opinion (especially if it is bad, or rude, or stupid) up when it isn't asked for in social situations. I offer my opinion up here, but I am talking to no one in particular. I either know who you are and expect your reaction, or you just stumbled here and are lurking. That is okay too. By putting this out there, naturally I am asking for opinions. But no one does this when they are having a conversation about a completely different topic, and are simply stating a fact. I would be lying if I wasn't put off by it. Would you be comfortable if someone just trashed your significant other for no apparent reason in a social setting? and then just expected that everything was okay? There is a difference between being a doormat and being nice.

Very excited to go to Michigan for L+Z's wedding next weekend. I know that I can expect not to encounter such idiots there.

xoxoxoxoxo to everyone out there that has manners. I love you all!

Why People Pleasing is a Bad Idea: Most likely part of a 10 part series called "My Life"

Have you ever had a day when you just can't seem to say/do the right thing, no matter how hard you try? That would be today for me. It is only 8:02am CST, and I keep putting my proverbial foot in my mouth everytime I open it. I am really just trying to be nice and make it easier for everyone around me (lots of people are having bad days, or it looks like they could potentially have one; i am just trying to make their days better, honest!) by being sympathetic and trying to solve their problems. Apparently this is the wrong approach. . .

Exhibit A:
M is one of my good friends and she had a bad day yesterday as well. She called me last night, upset. She had also called another mutual friend of ours (we are our own little group). I would never betray the trust of one of my good friends. If you tell me something,I am not about to broadcast it to everyone ( I have friends that do this with stunning regularity. . ). I got on the bus to go to work this morning, and this mutual friend (herein referred to as "woot") got on the bus. I asked her if M had called her last night. She said that, yes M had called her. I made the mistake of assuming (putting the @$$ in you and me. . .)that M had talked about the same topics; she hadn't, so I guess I just inadvertantly betrayed M's trust. The whole idea here was to talk to woot to try and find good ways to take M's mind off of the upsetting situation this weekend. That was achieved (M and Woot are hanging out tonight, and M is hanging with me tomorrow), but I get in and M calls and is like, I can't believe you told Woot all about me and my issues! What is wrong with you? Sigh. . . I was just trying to help!

Exhibit B:
Coworker comes up to me and asks me if I handle a particular report. I didn't, but seeing as all I do all day is run/write reports, it was a valid question. I told him that it was other Coworker H's report. Bad news for him, he said. I know enough about Coworker H's report to know that this report issue could cause Coworker H, who is already moody, to be in a crap tastic mood all day. I decided to intervene and tell Coworker H, that there were some issues with his report. This is much nicer than getting the chew out email about your report failing from the client. At least in my opinion. I would have thanked Coworker H if the roles were reversed. Instead I got a scowl and some swearing. Now Coworker H isn't speaking to me and that stinks cause I sit right next to him.

I am officially done trying to help people out and make their day a little bit easier. From now on, if there is dog poo up ahead, go ahead and step in it. Don't get mad that I didn't warn you or try to direct you to another route!

Kick for a Cause

If anybody is feeling particularly generous, my company is involved in a charity called Ryno Kid Care, founded by Ryne Sanburg of the Cubs (Go Cubs Go!)for the benefit of terminally ill children and their parents. We are hosting a Kickball Extravaganza @ Grant Park this Saturday, and all teams participating (not me, i'm working on the setup and registration of players!)raised at least $1200.00. Still we are asking for more people to donate to this great cause. If your pockets are feeling deep, click here. If you are in the Chicagoland area, feel free to come out and watch the fun in Grant Park. There will be a beer tent, food and snacks, and the festivities start at 10am and go until 6pm. Maybe I will see you there!