And Yet. . .

I know this blog has been neglected- not shown the love it deserves, but really i have a lot of items written for it. It's just that my trigger finger is sort of shy and doesn't want to alienate anyone. But I'm going to take a chance. I seem to be taking far more chances lately, be it online or in real life or driving or eating or talking or whatever. But here goes. This is the deep end I'm jumping into here.

For a number of years, I have had an "anonymous" blog that I have been writing in pretty regularly. Mostly because when you don't have a name and face, far less editing seems required. But I think it might be time to leave that behind. Starting now, all posts that would appear there, will appear hear instead. Yes, this means I will be posting more often. Will you enjoy the content? Not entirely sure there. I am pretty edited as I appear here, so expect a departure from the regular. I don't mean to offend anyone and please let me know if I do at all, but this is something I have been thinking about for a long time and the timing (for once in my life) is right. Wish me luck. Love me, or leave me.

Movin' Out

Well, it's that most wonderful time the those of us non-homeowners experience every year or few: apartment hunting time. It always sneaks up on me; I try not to think about it because it is so awful and then it is upon me like a crocodile and only weeks to figure out where myself and my book collection are going to live. This time around, I will most likely be downsizing. BF left for Atlanta, so I have had a two bedroom palace to myself for the past two months or so. This sounds like a good thing, but in reality, it isn't. It just means that I have now spread what used to be contained in a bedroom and walk in closet throughout an entire two bedroom place! And I like it that way. I even have a hooping area and a den/laundry folding room! Suffice to say, moving back into a shoebox sized studio is going to be an adjustment. I mean, a hooping area- awesome! Price is a factor here and I wish it weren't. If I had a money tree, I'd just get another two bedroom place and spread my self hither and yon. Alas, I have an all important budget to stick to (yes, I'm still using it Hillzy). This means that I either move in with some roommates (complete strangers), or find the deal of the century on a bootbox. I am approaching from both angles and I must say; I am my own worst enemy. I find something wrong with every place I go to. Clearly I am being overly critical. Hopefully meetings with potential roommates go a little bit better. It's really not nice to be critical of someone you just met. Especially when you would be moving into their abode.

So here's the score:
Shoeboxes 5, Me 0, Ties 2 (the ties are only because I have two places to "fall back on")
Bootboxes (no data available because I haven't found one in my price range yet)
Roommates 12 potentials. The meetings start next week. Wish me luck.


Do yourself a favor- figure out where you want to live and just buy a dumb place already. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

BBQ and Beer with?????

I have been writing for The Local Tourist here in Chicago. This takes up some of my spare time, yes, but I really like doing it and it is my first "real" blog. I have been making my fair share of mistakes while doing this, don't get me wrong. Having a day job is proabably the first one. . .closely followed by tons of technical errors. Lets just say I'm glad I'm not getting scored figure skating style! Anyway, tonight is the North Neighborhoods Meet and Greet. This is basically a chance for everyone to come out and meet new friends, hang with old friends, and of course meet me. Sort of a debut party for me being the host of the North Neighborhoods. I am really hoping that any of you in Chicago come by! I like to meet new people and really like seeing old friends and people I have somehow managed to drift from.

To be honest, this is the first time I have helped "throw" an event that wasn't just an all you can drink boozefest for a friend's birthday. I didn't approach businesses very well for "sponsorship" because no one seemed very interested. They all asked if this was for a charitable cause and I pretty much had to say no, even though all donation monies for "swag bags" go to the Local Tourist herself, Theresa Carter, to put towards a goal of raising $20,000 for pedatric aids. She is even climbing Mt. Kilmanjaro. Then I just sort of shut down. I guess I am sort of shy sometimes. If you come up to me, no problem; but I seem to have issues coming up to you and spouting off what I have to say. So I think I mucked it up. Theresa has been very understanding and is a great mentor for all things social media. Me, I can't even seem to figure out how to work the google spreadsheet. Suffice to say, this event is turning into less of the multi faceted marketing, advertising, charitable, social networking awesomeness I had originally envisioned, and more like one of the birthday fests described above. Except that Sheffield's is actually nice and previous birthday fetes have been at complete dives. And Theresa did very well with the whole marketing thing- there are sponsors.

So please come- and donate to the cause if at all possible. $25 online at this link gets you
BBQ Buffet
House Wine
Oktoberfest Beer (this is why I love Sheffield's)
Soda

and good company:)

It is $30 at the door of Sheffield's, one of my favorite bars in Lakeview/Wrigleyville (it rides the line between your favorite pub in college and a grown up pint).

Starts at 6:30PM and goes to 9:30PM.

Please come! Tickets here.

I am really hoping lots of my friends (that would be you) come so I don't look like a total loser. Plus I can only eat so much BBQ without exploding and it isn't good leftover. Neither is leftover beer.

A new home on the Internet and renewed inspiration

Seeing as I have a monster conference call starting in 15 minutes about god knows what (sounds like blah, blah, blah to me), I think I may have some time carved out to write a blog post. On my own blog! I have been writing, but not exactly on my own site. Recently, I met a great gal in Chicago who founded this site that basically tells people where to go, whether visiting or residing. She asked if I would like to contribute, and of course I couldn't turn down an awesome offer like that! So I started writing for the North Neighborhoods of Chicago on http://www.theLocalTourist.com. (Save that in your bookmarks- and visit often, please :)) Which is great, because I am learning about how to best attract an audience, plus write about where I live and all of the cool things that there are to do. Is a win- win. Unfortunately, I had to keep my day job (which most of you know does not suit me at all) and my hours got increased, so my personal blogging took a backseat. But recently BF started a blog and reminded me why I love doing this so much- writing is my outlet; right, wrong, or indifferent. I guess this means I have decided to say eff the backposts I have stored on my desktop and just start writing again. As always, unedited and probably super random. If you want something more polished, check out The Local Tourist.

FRIEND ships

Two of my best friends in the whole world came to visit me this past weekend and it just drove home how much I miss them and how much I miss out on their lives. We happen to live an entire time zone away from each other, so whenever we get to see each other, it is cause for celebration! This weekend was no different. We started the weekend off by consuming a wee bit more wine than was probably a good idea at the best Thai food place in the whole wide word and then moved on to hula hooping in my living room (I am obsessed, I'll admit it!) before heading out for some live blues at Kingston Mines.

Several months ago, one of these lovely ladies came down here for my birthday weekend and we went to Kingston Mines that weekend too. Suffice to say, we were just as hungover on this occasion as the last one and we had just as much fun dancing ourselves silly. Yeah, we didn't feel so motivated or with it the next day, but it was totally worth it!

I am sad to say that I don't talk to them nearly as much as I'd wish to. Or see them. Or email them. Or be there when I feel like I should be there for them. I get upset and start to feel guilty about this, but it seems like this is how it goes as we get older. This is no excuse and it doesn't make it any better, but the onward march of time means that as we age, we give more and more to careers and partners and children and hobbies and less to the people and passions that mattered along the way. I am sorry that this is how it is, but it makes me treasure weekends like this past one and still wish that we had more to share. I miss you guys already!

There are gold ships and there are silver ships, but the best ship is friendship.

The expense

Ah, my ship has not come in just yet. No new camera, but I am hoping I can get pictures from friends for a time. Instead, I got my mail yesterday and there was a lot in there (I only get my mail once a week because I really only get mail once a week, because this is Chicago and my mail person is lazy. The only problem with this is that there is the potential to have two weeks worth of mail that will not fix in your mailbox. I have no control over what day is delivered) that I didn't want to see. The usual junk mail, magazines (yay vogue and vanity fair), advertisements for a new roof or driveway (don't have either of those), and of course the bills. Except that this time there were 4 nasty nasties. the first of which being a bill for the doctors office for an appointment I didn't have and didn't go to. The second being a bill from the city for parking tickets I appealed nearly two years ago. Apparently I didn't win because not only am I being billed, but they are twice as much and interest is being charged! WTF?! I called to try and resolved the issue, but was told I had to pay for the tix. Then sat on hold for another 20 minutes (the city has awful hold music, like a cross between muzak, Kenny G, and bad German Techno beats) to talk about setting up a payment plan for this ungodly sum ($786.00!!!!!). Alas, the phone is finally picked up by a disgruntled sounding customer service rep (this must be the worst job in the world, hands down) who informed me that I am unable to set up a plan because I am not on Welfare (I have a job and no kids. . . shouldn't I get rewarded?)and that I had better pay up at least half today and then I could pay the rest over the next 6 months, but still with interest. I paid up the initial $100 and then put the rest of the $343.00 on 3 different credit cards (stupid city) because I was informed that for each month I don't pay up, interest plus another $100 accrues. Good God! This is bad news in the mail if I have ever gotten it. The next offending piece was a letter from my landlord with a move out checklist (like the dorms!)and a note reminding me that my move out date is 8-30-2008. . .WHAT?????? According to my lease I can stay until 9/1 @ 12noon. This is imperative because BF has to be out of his place on 8/31 @ 12 noon, and we are still negotiating the new place, but it really looks like 9/1. Sh*t~! So I call them up, (2nd nasty call involving lots of waiting) and after getting the busy signal twice, get "Brittany" the nitwit at the front desk. Brit and I have history, as I have threatened lawsuits and sicced government agencies on this management company on multiple occasions, so of course she puts me on hold forever upon hearing my name. Great. Finally I get the office manager and she informs me that I do in fact need to be out on 8/30 @ 12noon because that is the time I specified? I didn't specify anything. I mentioned my lease at this point and she chewed me out, saying that it meant nothing because it was with the previous management company. Grrrr. I am going to call the building manager now and see if anyone is actually moving into this rat trap. I doubt it, as over half the complex is vacant. If no one is moving in, then why should this even be an issue. Yuck. Last offending piece of mail was note from credit card (the one I put the parking tix on incidentally) that interest rates are going to be the prime rate + a bajillion percent. So now my parking tickets are going to cost $786.00+ (786x (28.99%)= a lot of frickin money for tix I thought I was off the hook for. Seriously, how can anyone afford this city?

Will post later when have cooled down more. Was not as productive as one would have hoped (we have an Oberon supplier in Chicago now, what can you do?) because I got a little extra tipsy on Friday night. However, just because I didn't make it to a place of internet, doesn't mean I didn't write anything. More word documents, to be uploaded when I do make it to said internet place. No pictures though. Sorry for the lack of entertainment!

Unsolicited Opinions

Interestingly enough, just when I start getting it together to update regularly, I have to take time out to find a new place to live. This has been a very stressful past few weeks, but on Wednesday afternoon, BF and I finally found the apartment of our dreams. I was beginning to think that it didn't exist. We had the rug pulled out from under us on all of the other fabulous places, so I was definitely ready to celebrate when we got the call back that the place was ours! Yay! Some of my coworkers had already planned a going away soiree for Woot (one of the girls that I am friends with in the office). This was to take place as sort of a happy hour- into the night sort of thing. I was really happy for Woot, being that she was moving on to greener pastures. I envisioned a night of happy cocktails with good people. It didn't hurt that the place we were going to had great drink specials.

So we all arrive with Woot in tow. Being that she didn't have to work the next day, she was all out to have a good time. The rest of us felt the same way, but that work was NOT going to be fun the next day. A motley assortment of people managed to roll in; a mixture of Woot's personal friends, coworkers and other satellite friends. All was going well, the weather was behaving, and the drinks were flowing. This is where it gets ugly.

There are certain people that you will encounter over a lifetime that you aren't really a huge fan of, and they aren't really anyone who you value the opinion of. In may cases, these happen to be friends of friends; not really anyone important. Well, Woot's roommate is most def one those people. I have always tried to reserve my judgement about her, but last night she took it one step to far. She also managed to collude in this with one of M's best girlfriends (if you remember, M is another coworker that I am good friends with)that I expect poor behavior from consistently; we will call her "Princess", because that is the title that best suits her.

M, Woot's roommate, Princess and I were discussing my upcoming move with BF. It is kind of a big deal when you make a decision to move in with your significant other. I was saying that we planned to have a housewarming party and that I would sent out invites accordingly now that my place will be bigger than shoe closet I currently inhabit.(Note: these were the girls I went out with the night after BF and I broke up for two weeks, so some animosity is warranted, but not like I am about to write about)Princess, who always "tells it like it is"; one of the many not so charming facets of her personality, tells me that she "respects my decision", because I am "an adult", but honestly, she thinks I am really stupid for doing this and can't believe I would be "that dumb". Ah, nice to hear on a summer's night when I AM SUPPOSED TO BE CELEBRATING! Wait, it gets better. Woot's roommate had to chip her two cents in too: "yeah, he's a "d bag" and "no one likes him anyway", then also reminds me that "no one has any respect for someone that pathetic". I know we were drinking, but A) I didn't ask for your opinion, B) didn't your mother teach you how to speak properly, and C) do I look like I care? I have not run into such blatant rudeness and stupidity since High School. Who are these girls? A little bit about them: both come from $$, went to good schools, and have difficulty holding on to a boyfriend. In fact, Woot's roommate has never had one. or a fling. or anything.

Suffice to say, I am glad that they are M and Woot's friends, not mine. I don't even want to be in the same room as these obnoxious idiots! I don't offer my opinion (especially if it is bad, or rude, or stupid) up when it isn't asked for in social situations. I offer my opinion up here, but I am talking to no one in particular. I either know who you are and expect your reaction, or you just stumbled here and are lurking. That is okay too. By putting this out there, naturally I am asking for opinions. But no one does this when they are having a conversation about a completely different topic, and are simply stating a fact. I would be lying if I wasn't put off by it. Would you be comfortable if someone just trashed your significant other for no apparent reason in a social setting? and then just expected that everything was okay? There is a difference between being a doormat and being nice.

Very excited to go to Michigan for L+Z's wedding next weekend. I know that I can expect not to encounter such idiots there.

xoxoxoxoxo to everyone out there that has manners. I love you all!

Why People Pleasing is a Bad Idea: Most likely part of a 10 part series called "My Life"

Have you ever had a day when you just can't seem to say/do the right thing, no matter how hard you try? That would be today for me. It is only 8:02am CST, and I keep putting my proverbial foot in my mouth everytime I open it. I am really just trying to be nice and make it easier for everyone around me (lots of people are having bad days, or it looks like they could potentially have one; i am just trying to make their days better, honest!) by being sympathetic and trying to solve their problems. Apparently this is the wrong approach. . .

Exhibit A:
M is one of my good friends and she had a bad day yesterday as well. She called me last night, upset. She had also called another mutual friend of ours (we are our own little group). I would never betray the trust of one of my good friends. If you tell me something,I am not about to broadcast it to everyone ( I have friends that do this with stunning regularity. . ). I got on the bus to go to work this morning, and this mutual friend (herein referred to as "woot") got on the bus. I asked her if M had called her last night. She said that, yes M had called her. I made the mistake of assuming (putting the @$$ in you and me. . .)that M had talked about the same topics; she hadn't, so I guess I just inadvertantly betrayed M's trust. The whole idea here was to talk to woot to try and find good ways to take M's mind off of the upsetting situation this weekend. That was achieved (M and Woot are hanging out tonight, and M is hanging with me tomorrow), but I get in and M calls and is like, I can't believe you told Woot all about me and my issues! What is wrong with you? Sigh. . . I was just trying to help!

Exhibit B:
Coworker comes up to me and asks me if I handle a particular report. I didn't, but seeing as all I do all day is run/write reports, it was a valid question. I told him that it was other Coworker H's report. Bad news for him, he said. I know enough about Coworker H's report to know that this report issue could cause Coworker H, who is already moody, to be in a crap tastic mood all day. I decided to intervene and tell Coworker H, that there were some issues with his report. This is much nicer than getting the chew out email about your report failing from the client. At least in my opinion. I would have thanked Coworker H if the roles were reversed. Instead I got a scowl and some swearing. Now Coworker H isn't speaking to me and that stinks cause I sit right next to him.

I am officially done trying to help people out and make their day a little bit easier. From now on, if there is dog poo up ahead, go ahead and step in it. Don't get mad that I didn't warn you or try to direct you to another route!

Kick for a Cause

If anybody is feeling particularly generous, my company is involved in a charity called Ryno Kid Care, founded by Ryne Sanburg of the Cubs (Go Cubs Go!)for the benefit of terminally ill children and their parents. We are hosting a Kickball Extravaganza @ Grant Park this Saturday, and all teams participating (not me, i'm working on the setup and registration of players!)raised at least $1200.00. Still we are asking for more people to donate to this great cause. If your pockets are feeling deep, click here. If you are in the Chicagoland area, feel free to come out and watch the fun in Grant Park. There will be a beer tent, food and snacks, and the festivities start at 10am and go until 6pm. Maybe I will see you there!

Rothbury Green Initiatives- In your own backyard (cubicle)

I had originally intended to "tweet" and post from Rothbury, but my blackberry only picked up NPI (the bunk cell phone provider that my dear friend Amy always had to deal with when we were roommates @ MSU- it caused some expensive problems to say the least), so of course none of the data options worked and i could only text ppl that were like two feet away. so much for that. at least i wrote down little blubs on my arms, in my bag, on sugar cane plates :) I hope to make of of this into a decent post, but bear with me as i am still recovering from 4 days without any sleep. Totally worth it though; i will be back next year. In the meantime though, i have some lofty plans for this office. I sat in some of the think tanks @ Rothbury and got some fab ideas. Did you know that sugarcane plates cost less than paper plates AND are better for the environment (the break down into compost faster than paper and with less chemical impact)? That is just one example. Last week my office discontinued paper and insulated cups. I have heard people complain, but not too terribly. I take this as a sign that we have managed to promote some positive social change around here. I am going to talk to our HR person about replacing paper with sugar cane, and using recycled napkins. We are already in talks with Boise Paper (one of our clients, natch) to implement recycled TP in the bathrooms on our floor at least. This is a little bit trickier, as the building shares the same cleaning service and we have to convince them as well. Every little bit helps!

I hope to post more on the overall weekend, but i need to do two things first: upload my pictures (after charging camera) and get some sleep. I have failed miserably at both and i have been back since 3am on Monday. . . oops.

More to come. Please keep trying to do your own version of the 3 r's. . ..

Today is a cynical one. I am not sure if it is the weather (it is humid, kind of chilly and overcast here), the fact that BF is on a mini permanant vacation, or just that I am stuck in a general funk, but today is just not a good one. I am trying to limit the cynical on this blog, but it is hard not to be with current conditions. After reading Matt's blog (see three posts ago), I have come to the conclusion (yet again) that life just isn't fair at all. I don't think that it is fair for me, certainly not fair for Matt or Madeline or Liz, and not fair for anyone in Myanmar, and not fair for anyone who has lost their job because of the current economic situation. Unfortunately, these things show no signs of improving. There is a select percentage of people that are actually thriving (call it the upper class, if you will), but so many others that are struggling to make ends meet. For some reason, I fall into the latter category, but this is mostly because I bought a new car two months before moving here and have student loans. At least I can (almost) make all of my bills every month and still be able to do things. I feel bad for all of the single moms and dads out there that have kids to care for as well on one income. Just another reminder that life really isn't fair. Why was I not born into a trust fund? exactly.


I guess this is just about taking the best of of the worst situations. If you are currently unhappy with your fiscal situation, romantic situation, living situation, career situation, and friend situation, what else can you do, but to fixate as much as possible on what is really good. For me that means enjoying my awesome bathtub with feet (even though it is located in my closet of an apartment), soaking up the sun on Lake Michigan, making the most of my weekends, loving BF for putting up with crazy me, and appreciating the good, true friends I have (even if they are a time zone away). The little things in life.

I am still thinking life is not fair and that I am in a crummy mood today, but maybe the sun will come out tomorrow :)


On another note, sorry for the lack of Muffy pictures. I need to post a lot of pics, just dragging my feet a little right now. Check back soon.

Jamba Secret Menu?

So really off topic here, but one of my co workers just told me that Jamba Juice has a "secret" menu. Like any other American that knows how the internet works, I decided to google it. According to Yelp! users, this is the case; supposedly they have all of these different smoothies. Flavors such as Red Gummi, White Gummi, Pink Starburst, and PB&J are available if you ask. I am going to stop at Jamba on the way home to check this out. If they have Pink Starbursts in liquid form, I am all about it! That is like a dream come true. The link I posted is for Los Angeles, so I hope this is the case in Chicago!

On the hunt. . .

I know it has been ages since i posted. . . i actually have a bunch of posts saved in word documents on my work computerl. i am trying to figure out how to email post from my spiffy little blackberry i recently purchased (back in January???). Once I get that figured out, then maybe these will come a little more frequently. In short to catch up though:
Had Birthday at Redmond's bar in Wrigleyville. It was about at college-y as I could get in Chicago. Unfortunately, some good friends who had RSVP'd decided that my birthday wasn't that important to them, even though they consistently expect me to drop everything to attend to their plans and whims. Kind of eye opening for the way the rest of the year has progressed thus far. . .

Still in row with Dad; I don't think I will ever be good enough for that man. .

Looking for "way out" of current corporate setting. . if anyone has any ideas; i am open to any and all.

Law school. Well, I got accepted at a few, decided not to apply to a few others, got waitlisted at a couple that count, and got rejected from my dream school. So I have decided; coupled with the current economic situation, that I will not be attending. I need to find some form of intellectual stimulation though. Not exactly going v. well considering it is May and most applications were due several months ago. oops. and the tests. oops again. Potentially considering MLS degree. Thoughts?

BF and I broke up. or well, he broke up with me back in the beginning of March. But then he came back after two weeks. This was not a good two weeks for me. If you know where to look there are various pictures of me "out on the town" from those two weeks. I look happy, but I can assure you I was miserable. The only perks were my friends. You really find out who is your friend and who is just an acquaintance.

Out of the breakup, I decided to start seeing a therapist again. I'm not any crazier than anyone else, but I tend to be a bit of an over achiever and people pleaser type. So I drive myself crazy. With the whole BF thing, I really lost it. Living in a big city where you don't have as much control as you would like over menial things does not help the cause. My therapist will be referred to as PSY from here on out.

I got a promotion if you want to call it that. We really only do lateral moves, so techically I didn't move up. But you do need higher qualifications for this position than the last one. So I sort of think I moved up. And I have to talk to people much less on the phone. And for two whole weeks I actually learned something new! Who would have thought? But now I am back to being bored. At least I'm efficient!

Also, I am in weddings for two very good friends this summer. Wedding#1 is in June and Wedding#2 is in August. I have been very caught up in all of the rituals and festivities, and it occurs to me that I only want to ever get married for the poufy white dress and the fun parties. Obviously I am not in that "married" frame of mind yet. I still have a lot of living to do!

That is about the update for now. In a few hours, I will be in the stinky metal can known as Amtrak speeding (Well not really, but it is faster than walking alright!) towards East Lansing. A fitting for one of those lovely bridesmaid dresses, and Mother's Day brew haha abound.

Can't wait! More to come, I mean it this time!